July 18, 2005
Things I Hate
I hate it when people tell women not to be mad, or try to shame women for expressing anger.
I wouldn't mind people complaining about my potty mouth if it were just a matter of them finding cursewords offensive. However, I find that complaints about cursewords (coming from a woman) so very often go hand-in-hand with people's discomfort with women's anger.
If I am angry in front of a sexist man, he will try to cut me down in order to silence me, or else simply tell me not to be angry. If I am angry in front of a sexist woman, she will act shocked in order to silence me, or else try to embarrass me out of it. For instance, I'll say, "Man, the way we process our widget orders is so damned slow and inefficient. I'm getting tired of this slow-ass widget shit." And the other woman will say, "Uh-oh, Gwen. You want me to call the boss and let him know what you're saying?" or "I don't know why you let it bother you. It doesn't bother ME."
Meanwhile, if a man were to walk into the room and say, "These goddamned bitches doing our widget orders need to have some sense slapped into them. Somebody oughtta tear off their heads and shit down their fucking necks!" then the same upholders of gender-delineated virtue would giggle and tell him, "Oh, Joe! You're so right!"
I'm starting to think that people are uncomfortable with women's anger because it reminds them of getting spanked by their mothers.
Also, certain types of men enjoy making women angry, maybe because it reminds them of being scolded by their mothers, and that makes them feel loved. But that's another set of anecdotes for another time.
In the meantime: I get angry, and I prefer to say so aloud as opposed to silently taking it out on my kids, my pets, or myself. If you can't hang with that, I guess you have to effing lump it.