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Wednesday, May 8, 2002 I'm having problems writing to my notify list. If you are on my notify list, reading this entry many days after it's posted, and feeling upset about it, then I am sorry. *** We saw Spider-Man last night. I liked it. (If you haven't yet seen it, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs.) Recently, it occurred to me that comic books are like soap operas written by straight men. They've always fascinated me to a casual degree. I enjoy the melodrama, the corny dialogue, and (lately) the extreme romanticism tempered by surprising/amusing prudishness. (I don't have to tell y'all that this romanticism and its high ideals only involve women who are slender with large breasts, though, do I?) Long-time readers of Gwentown and its previous incarnations will remember that I used to bitch about Spiderman every once in a while. I was upset by the way he neglected Mary Jane. A year ago, one of my comic-book-nerd friends told me that MJ had a dysfunctional upbringing. Suddenly I was fascinated by Mary Jane and her boyfriend Spidey. Although the movie obviously wasn't meant to be an artistic emotional drama, I was impressed by the fact that they retained Mary Jane's fucked-up lifestyle. It was right there on the screen (in my mind, at least): the way she was raised to believe that her only value to others was as something sexual. Called stupid and slutty, she grew up emphasizing the perceived character trait that would at least get her a little positive attention. She went along with the wishes of any man who showed her a little kindness. My favorite part was when she kissed Spiderman, taking action based on her own true desires. The part I hated was when Peter Parker rejected her declaration of love at the end. God, I hated that part so much. Every guy I've told that to has replied with, "Yeah, but you know why he did it, right?" Yeah, I know why he did it. I understand perfectly the convention of a hero sacrificing his selfish desires to protect the woman he loves. However, I can't help but feel that the convention itself is based on a little more than pure motives. Does it simply hurt to hurt Mary Jane, Spidey? Or does it also, secretly, just a tiny bit, feel good to punish her for not seeing your worth way back at the beginning? Does your spidey sense tingle just a little when you get revenge on her for having had sex with other guys? You could have confessed your feelings and then made up an excuse, but no... better to be mysterious, right? Why not let her wonder? Girls look so pretty with tears running down their faces, don't they? The lesson learned (you see in any Mary Jane's eyes) is "I knew it. They really ARE all the fucking same. I'm never trusting a man again." Or maybe I'm being optimistic. Maybe it's actually, "I knew it. I knew deep down that I really am worthless and don't deserve for anything good to happen to me." But we already know that, in this story, MJ is eventually rewarded with the Webbed Wondrous Love. How super duper fabulous for her. She gets to wait for Spidey at night and continue being the one whose eyes reflect his heroic face. (Here's hoping he's at least good in bed.) Her fate could be way worse, I guess, so I won't complain. At least she gets to keep that CUTE figure, right? I wish the lesson learned, way back at the beginning of the movie, had been, "I don't have time for this. It's time to focus on my own goals." But at the same time, I know that she really is starving -- dying -- to feel loved. And she really deserves to spend time with a guy who isn't an asshole. So I really will (grudgingly) cheer when Kirsten Dunst and Tobey MacGuire finally get it on. Mary Jane was another damsel in distress stereotype but, having been saturated with the thoughts of young male protagonists throughout my own youth, I was able to identify with Spider-Man, as well. When the movie was over, I wanted to BE him. I wanted to save all the children and hear the cheering of my neighbors. Also, I wanted to save Mary Jane and be the one not to make her cry. *** I also wanted to see Rolling Stone's picks for the 50 coolest albums and, like Charles, count how many were in my collection, but I don't have the patience to go through each banner-ad-ful page. If anyone does go through them all, could you tell me which Pavement one they picked? Thanks. *** Okay, that's all. NEXT time I'll show y'all the picture of my highlights and tell y'all how Visible Changes is populated by zombies. Or else I'll tell y'all why CUNNILINGUS IS (at least as) COOL (as fellatio) and why older women who publicly slag teen girls for being promiscuous are missing the freaking point. Okay? All right. |