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February 18 - Sunday While Gwen feeds her children clearance-priced Valentine's candy for dinner, Princess Ardala climbs into the computer chair and dictates tonight's entry: Leopard Man, get in here! NOW! Did you bring the oil? Good. What? What is this? Not the almond, you imbecile! I said coconut! Go and get the coconut oil, Leopard Man! Oh, why are you so incompetent? And bring me some wine! Damn that Buck Rogers for tricking me. The next time I get him into this bedroom... He'll be sorry he stole those secret plans. Damn him! I have such a headache. Leopard Man, get over here and rub my temples! Not like that, you idiot! Yes... that way... Keep rubbing, Leopard Man! That infernal Buck Rogers will be sorry he ever tangled with me... Stop it, Leopard Man! Your touch irritates me! Oh, you're even worse than Tiger Man was! Here -- rub my shoulders instead. No -- yes, like that. Keep it up, Leopard Man. Don't stop! Use the oil, fool. Yes... Buck Rogers will be sorry... Oh, that man... so infuriating... Where is my wine, Leopard Man? I told you to pour me some wine! Buck Rogers... will be... Always so smug... I'll wipe the smile right off his... Ugh! This wine is putrid! Leopard Man! No, clean that up later, you imbecile! Unfasten this infernal rhinestone bikini top! My shoulder blades are aching. Damn that Buck... I'll make him... Lower, Leopard Man! No -- yes. Harder, Leopard Man! I have to come up with a plan. I'll lure him here, into my bed. But this time... Not like that, Leopard Man! Move this way. Not there -- there, you idiot! Move, Leopard Man! Yes... now. Hurry up, you fool! Yes... I'll lure Buck into my bed and then he will be in my power. This time I won't drink the sleeping powder he puts into the wine... If only Leopard Man can stay vigilant and... Leopard Man! Move to the left! Harder, Leopard Man! Faster! Move to the right, you imbecile! Yes... Yes... Buck Rogers will be in my power... That ridiculous hairstyle... that tight uniform... what does he see in that hag Wilma, anyway? I'll make him see... yes! Oh, yes... Faster, Leopard Man! Harder! Yes! No, you idiot... yes! Leopard Man! Yes, Leopard Man... Buck Rogers will be... YES! Get off me, idiot. Clean up this mess. Oh, why are you so worthless? Get up, Leopard Man! Move, you lazy fool! I have plans to make... I have big plans for Buck Rogers, Leopard Man. |