Guess what. I'm gonna be on Road Trip Nation! Thanks to the Unknown Reader who recommended my blog to her friend Camilla. Unknown Reader, I enjoyed meeting your friend!
Sneak preview of upcoming novel.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
self censoredThe other day I did like 2002 and posted an IM chat here for y'all to read. It was between me and my friend "Olivia," and we were being very silly and clever in it. I deleted all the most personal parts.
But then I looked at it online, all visible to the world, and imagined the world seeing it. Specifically, people who might come to this site because of my children's book. This is what they would have seen: badword badword hating sex badword children badword cats hate drama sex vanity badword.
So I deleted it. Not so much of the badwords, but because I realized that posting that chat session was a little like saying, "Check it out: Me and my friends are so witty that strangers should feel privileged to read our chat-distorted ramblings!"
Maybe I'll re-post it later, though, next time I haven't updated in a while. :)
the job
I realize, now, how people become hardcore workaholics who never leave the office. I realize, because I've been fantasizing about going into work on the weekends, or going in at 5:00 AM, just so I can get some stuff done without having to answer the phone or stop what I'm doing to go to a meeting.
You hear that? I'm fantasizing about doing work. It's a sickness. I'm sick.
There is an imaginary end in sight. Right now, our particular workplace is particularly busy because of a certain law that recently got passed. (403(b) compliance. Do you feel a tingle of excitement running down your spine?) Soon (in two months? six months?) things will slow down.
I'm looking forward to that time, not because I'm lazy, but because just about everyone I work with is pretty freaking cool, and we keep promising ourselves that we'll do more team-building (AKA eating and drinking) as soon as things slow down.)
So, there it is. Busy but not bad. Things could be less busy and not at all as good. You know?
the cats
People keep asking about the cats. Starbuck and Toby are doing well. Are they still having romantic relations? Yes, but only at night. Starbuck is a good Catholic wife and she only does it when the lights are off. If Toby tries to get romantic during the day (and he does try, often), then Starbuck yells at him and hits him in the head with her paws.
"I'm not that kind of girl!" she says.
"But last night..." he says.
"Unhand me, you cad!" she says.
"Um... How about now?" he says.
"NO MEANS NO!" Starbuck yells.
And then she kicks Toby in the face, and he walks away, dejected. And then she runs back up to him, inserts herself under his body, and strikes a provocative pose.
"Now?!?" says Toby, immediately Don Juan again.
"No, stupid!" Starbuck yells, and bites him on the leg.
It's beautiful. It's so poignant.
Besides that, they like to practice martial cat arts, and they really like their new cat food, which is the Purina in the white bag with the extra special flavoring added. It's, like, chicken and orso with balsamic reduction. Or something. Can't remember the name of it.
We just gave them each a bath, so they temporarily hate us. However, even they saw the amount of loose hair that went down the drain, and they were at least a little relieved.
More later, when I get the chance. PS, my hair now looks like Katie Holmes' hair, but in auburn. With less severe bangs. And only because my stylist straightened it -- tomorrow, after I wash it, it'll be a wavy, wavy mess again. :) 7:27 PM #
Comments:
Today when my son asked about getting another cat I said, "No, I don't want cats having sex in the house." He said, "What if they're fixed?" "Ha" I said. "Tell that to Toby and Starbuck."I posted an IM conversation in my 'sort of a blog but not really' lately for my own amusement. I like reading other people's too. But only if they're funny. I'm sure yours are funny.
# posted by
greenish : 8:17 PM
Ha. Toby & Starbuck = synonymous with cats defying their spay-or-neuters.
Thank you for unwittingly encouraging me. :)
The thing is, I like reading *other people's* chats... but posting mine made me feel self-conscious and shy, I guess.
# posted by
Gwen : 8:21 PM
Hey Gwen - Have you seen the Furminator?
Every time I complain about how much fur my cat is shedding right now (she just walks around whining about the heat. "I'm haaaaaaaat. It's HOOOOTTTTTT. Mrrrrooooow. HOT! Bitches!"), the spouse goes, "WE NEED THE FURMINATOR!"
http://furminator.com/
I confess, I'm intrigued.
# posted by
: 11:03 PM
The Furminator is awesome, even if it is essentially a 35.00 brush. It's a magic brush.
I liked your IM conversation. Since I don't IM, it read like pomo poetry, to me.
That Starbuck is quite a little minx!
# posted by
autonomy as a guiding principle : 4:07 PM
I like reading IM conversations, but not made up ones. You can always tell when they're made up, or at least I think I can.
# posted by
kate : 1:09 PM
Gwen you are so funny I think I would read what you babble in your sleep if you wanted to write that out.
# posted by
That Chick Over There : 7:55 PM
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I couldnt load the thingy where you are reading the first chapter of your novel. It keeps flashing and then asking me to save the file. No chance to click anywhere just FLASH and then gone. Am I doing something wrong.
PS I just hacked all my hair off. I LOVE it so far. Of course I havent washed it or tried to do it myself yet. Tomorrow I may hate it, How about yours? Did you do it like they did it or is it all wavy again. LOL
# posted by
Pixielyn : 10:28 PM
I can't wait to see the Katie-like hair style. I LOVE Toby and Starbuck stories. They are SO cute! Work sounds hectic, but exciting at the same time in an s&m kind of way. I thrive on busy! I totally get you on the self-censoring thing. I do it all the time. That also reminded me of that great essay I read called "The Missing Years." I think I sent it to you. Have a great week!
# posted by
ShoeGirl : 8:32 AM
I heard your show on the archived shows today. LOVED it! I can't wait to read the book. I think I pre-ordered it. I need to check on that.
# posted by
ShoeGirl : 8:03 PM
Did we lose an entry? Are you self-censoring again? Did you get too much advice about what to do when you are stressed?
# posted by
: 10:54 AM
We did temporarily lose an entry, yes. Someone insane left a comment that linked to a site proving his/her insanity, and I couldn't delete the comment at the time, so I hid the entry.
Believe me -- y'all don't want to know.
Back to normal as soon as I can get it...
# posted by
Gwen : 9:14 PM
Y'all, I bought the Furminator!
It works pretty well, but has so many disclaimers about irritating the pets' skin with over-brushing, I'm afraid to use it too much.
Sorry I haven't been responding to comments like normal... It's hard with the new job.
That's the one thing I miss about my old job -- having plenty of free time to spend on the internets. Le sigh.
More soon.
# posted by
Gwen : 9:56 PM
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