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Friday, October 05, 2007
Something AnnoyingRecently, on the Facebook of a friend's Facebook friend, I read something annoying.
This person had a question posted under the picture of face. Something like, "Why is it okay to talk about your belief in yoga or vegetarianism, but it's not okay for me to talk about my love for Jesus Christ?"
I'm going to pretend that this person meant that question seriously, and that he wasn't just pulling the red herring victim routine that is so fabulously common amongst combative conservatives. And I'm going to answer this person's question.
One: It's okay for you to talk about your love for Jesus Christ. You have that right.
Two: It is exactly as annoying for you to talk about your love for Jesus Christ as it is for anyone else to talk about their belief in yoga.
Here is where you Jesus evangelists go wrong -- you don't know how to have normal, interesting, polite conversations. Also, you missed that part of 7th Grade Language Arts where we learned about "persuasive essays."
Here is how you could have an interesting conversation about your beliefs:
Example 1:
Joe Blow: Wanna have breakfast?
You: No, thanks. I'm on the way to church.
Joe: Aw, dude. You go to church?
You: Yeah.
Joe: I can't go for that. That's a waste of my Sunday, you know?
You: I like going. It takes an hour, but it makes me feel better after I've gone.
Joe: For real?
You: Yeah. Let me know if you ever wanna check it out, and you can go with me.
[Joe: No, thanks.
or
Joe: Okay, I will.]
Example 2:
Joe Blow: ... and she said she was gonna start doing yoga. Can you believe that?
You: Oh, cool.
Joe: No, dude, she said yoga. That's lame.
You: You think so? I like yoga.
Joe: You do yoga? Uh, why?
You: I like it. It makes me feel better.
Joe: For real.
You: Yeah. Let me know if you wanna check it out some time, and you can go with me.
See that? Okay, now, here's how to be an asshole.
Example 1:
Joe: ... and then I went to Banana Republic, and they were having a sale.
You: Joe, when's the last time you went to church?
Joe: What?
You: I used to be like you, but then I found Jesus Christ, and my life has improved 100%.
Joe: What? What do you mean, like me?
You: Come to church, Joe. Come change your life. Make your life awesome in the light of Jesus's love, like mine is.
Example 2:
Joe: Wanna go to Jack in the Box?
You: No, because I don't eat meat, because eating meat is wrong.
Joe: Oh, uh... sorry.
You: You should stop eating meat. When I was eating meat, I was fat, lazy, and a sexist, capitalist fascist. Now that I'm vegan, I have a clarity on life that meat-eaters can't begin to understand. You should stop eating meat, Joe. It's disgusting.
Joe: Uh... I just remembered that I have to run errands at lunch. See ya.
There you go, buddy. You can talk about your love for Jesus all you want, but you can't make me enjoy a rude, annoying conversationalist. Because that's what it's always about, isn't it? You don't just want to talk about Jesus. You want to talk about Jesus and have everyone on earth agree with whatever you say. You can't always have what you want, though. (Especially not if you're annoying.)
Now you know, Facebook friend of my Facebook friend. I hope my answer to your question is helpful. You're welcome. 9:15 AM #
Comments:
Wow, I couldn't have possibly said it better myself.By the way, when's the last time you went to church? :P
- Datty
# posted by
: 9:33 AM
I know where you're coming from, Gwen. As a Christian, it's even hard for me to stomach some of the tactics of the "fishers of men." I know I'm supposed to talk about Jesus, and I do, but I try to do it in the way you mentioned-- saying, "yeah, I'm going to church today, etc." and even as far as saying, I've changed a lot since accepting Jesus, but I don't tell others they need to do it-- You know, free will, and all... I'd rather show by the example of how I live my life. I know it's not my job to change someone, but I can pray for them to be open to God's will.
It's difficult, though. We're told to go out and spread God's word. Sometimes it's hard to know just how to do so without turning people off. We're not trying to be a**holes, though. Really...but like you said-- those are found in all walks of life.
# posted by
: 9:51 AM
p.s. I was going to email you, but it bounced back:
Thanks, Gwen. Because of you, I just emailed a friend to apologize for maybe pushing too much
when it comes to Christianity. I haven't gone all nutso on her or anything, like "Repent! Or
go to Hell!" but I still might be treading the line of annoyance and that's not what I want to
do. Hahah-- maybe I was meant to read your blog today so I could see the error of my ways and
email my friend back (I had just sent her something this morning that touched on Christ.)
:)
# posted by
: 10:04 AM
My father-in-law once felt the need to tell my husband and I that we are going to hell. From his perspective, I could sort of see it - he really does think we're going to hell, and that makes him sad for us, and he feels like he needs to at least try to save us.
From my perspective, organized religion is rife with hypocrisy and is often an excuse for immoral, not moral behavior. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone," says the bible, and yet the primary activity of many of the evangelical Christians I know is to pass judgment on others when they would be far better off in cleaning their own house, so to speak.
# posted by
kate : 10:25 AM
Awesome.
Thanks Gwen.
# posted by
: 4:29 PM
Yes! Perfect, Gwen. So well said.
The quickest way to ensure that I will either [a] not partake of whatever it is that someone is offering or [b] partake of it and NEVER, EVER discuss it with that person is to have it presented so aggressively. People eventually learn this about me.
Eventually.
# posted by
jagosaurus : 8:12 PM
...because bendy-stretchy exercise and dietary decisions are just like a major world religion.
Time to start singing the "One of These Things" song from Sesame Street!
# posted by
Naomi : 8:41 AM
I'm very secular, and I have a good friend that's a very devout Christian. People seem to be surprised when I mention that, but I tell them we're friends because we respect each other's beliefs without trying to convert the other. She's one of what I consider the "true" Christians who let their actions speak their faith instead of just their words. Every now and then, she'll say, "You'd make such a good Christian," and I tell her that since that's the case, we'll just leave out the dogma and we get along fine.
# posted by
Marchelle : 3:44 PM
My ex, a Christian, has several times said to me, "I care about you, and I don't want you to spend eternity in Hell." He's really quite nice about it, and I always tell him, I appreciate that he cares about me, and I respect his believing as he does, and he'll have to do the same for me. He's never pushed, despite the visions he has of me roasting away. That takes courage.
# posted by
nancy : 8:17 PM
It's being able to recognize the difference between having a normal conversation where you mention thinks you happen to be interested in and proselytizing.
In college, I lived next door to a "campus crusader for Christ", and being a Jew myself, it got a bit overwhelmingly aggressive at times.
Of course, my roommate and I had endless fun drawing fake moustaches on all the characters in the chick tracts he insisted on handing to us every time we were in the same room.
# posted by
sam : 10:13 PM
That is so exactly it. If it weren't impossible, and perhaps (theoretically) somewhat inappropriate, I would reach right through the computer and hug you.
# posted by
: 2:45 AM
Naomi-
Yoga actually includes a lot more than just "bendy stretchy exercises." For serious practitioners of yoga, it is a wholistic way of looking at life and their position in the world. Although a lot of people do yoga now just for exercise, and don't really take part in the rest of it, the "bendy stretchy" is actually only one part of it.
Serious vegetarians also might consider their dietary decisions to be indicative of deeply held veiws on life and the world.
These belief systems do not actually pale in comparison to christianity just because it is a "major world religion." Some people might be just as passionate about their yoga or veggie lifestyle as others are about their love of Jesus.
The assumption that christian beliefs are Much More Important than the things other people hold dear, and that non-christian ways of looking at things are automatically lesser, is just another part of the self-righteous attitude embodied by many (though certainly not all) christians that turns people like me off.
-Melinda
P.S. Hi Gwen - I have never commented on here or emailed you or anything, but I have read your journal for a long time. I read your book, as well, and I think you're very smart and funny. Thanks for writing!
# posted by
: 3:52 PM
I hear you.
I really think, "Embrace Jesus or YOU GO TO HELL!" is a particularly bad argument to make. Especially to people who may actually uh, not believe in hell, or just plain don't like being emotionally blackmailed into choosing as you did.
It's probably pretty telling that my most uber-Catholic believer relatives make Catholicism look really, really distasteful.
# posted by
Jennifer : 4:00 PM
I love this post. Frankly, I'm annoyed by zealots of all stripes, and that includes Christians and Vegans. Seriously, the Vegans are almost worse in their evangelism. A vegan friend of mine actually once used the phrase "Do you know that soy has a plan for you?"
# posted by
Adrienne : 5:39 PM
Melinda, it's so cute how you assume that I'm Christian!
My point was that there is a big difference between an individual life choice and being part of a religion that basically permeates our culture. That difference would affect how people react to a yoga enthusiast or vegetarian as opposed to one more in an endless line of pushy evangelists. So actually, we agree on this point.
But thanks for assuming!
# posted by
Naomi : 6:31 PM
Honestly I believe the Facebook poster "might" have been referring to when a Christian just mentions something (in response to) "What did you do this morning?", "Oh, we wen't to church", "Jeez, I HATE Church, Christians are SO judgemental and in your face, yuck!". Seriously, as a VERY non-judgemental NEVER trying to conform or convert anyone ever to my beliefs, or lecture EVER. I get that type of thing all the time! Honestly, you wouldn't believe it. And no, I'm not a Republican. And yes, I love your blog :), just found it, I'm an unfortunatly relocated Houstonian, living on the West Coast. But seriously oftentimes you just mention where you wen't, i.e. church and people (good "friends") totally attack your beliefs these days. Sorry, but it can be very true.
# posted by
: 7:38 PM
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