May 3, Houston: The big one -- the Inprint reading -- occurs at the Alley Theatre on Monday, May 3. Do not miss it or you'll be sorry. I'm not kidding -- I'm going to say the craziest, most intellectual yet hilarious stuff I can think of, and I'll be sharing the stage with the ultra sexy Oscar Casares, too.
June 24, Houston: I'm one of the peeps scheduled to read at Poison Pen, at Houston's famous Poison Girl bar. Besides me, everyone there will be ultra, *super* sexy. Come see me and drink!
June 26, Washington, DC: I'll be reading at the American Library Association conference. Come on down.
My other blog: Go read my the Houston Chronicle parenting blog (or my ChronMomBlog, as I like to call it) and make sure my kids won't resent me more than other kids resent their own parents.
Buy my new novel, Lone Star Legend. Already did? Well, buy a few more for your friends, then. :)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I know the answer now.I think I do, I mean. I did some research on teh internets, and I've realized that my gynecologist was right, even though she said things in such a dismissive, blow-off-y way.
I'm gonna try to lose 70 pounds. Then, in theory, my ovaries should return to normal.
If anyone speaks to me in an inappropriate way when this is happening, I will simply say, "Would you say that to a man?" Or else I'll elbow them in the nose and make their nose bleed, distracting them long enough for me to get away.
If I accidentally get kidney stones while losing weight (again), and my doctor says, "Maybe you should quit [doing whatever I end up doing to lose weight]," then I will say "Shut up - as if you wouldn't tell me to lose weight in the first place." And then I'll drink something vinegar-y, because that's how I got rid of the stone last time.
If, like Dr. Atkins, I slide on a ramp and hit my head and die (and then people say I had a heart attack because of my unorthodox diet), then I will be dead and who cares what people say? If I'm dead and I hear them saying it, then I'll haunt them or change the channel.
Okay. Ready, break!
Well, first I have to weigh myself, I guess. Then, I'll know what weight to go to. (Seventy was the number I came up with, last time I gave this matter thought. Seventy pounds sounds like a good amount. Not too fat anymore, but also not too thin. Plus, it starts with an odd number, which I like. Actually, I like the word itself: se-ven-ty. Mmm. Sounds good.)
Okay... Seriously, now...
Labels: health
4:33 PM #Comments:
I like the "elbow them in the nose" option. No one should be commenting on this aspect of your life, and anyone who does deserves a sharp bloody blow to the nose. You can tell them I said so.GOOD LUCK!
# posted by
Jennaratrix : 11:26 AM
You don't know me from Adam - I've posted on your blog before, but only once or twice. But I had to reply to this post.
Wow. My ovaries aren't exactly working the way they're supposed to either. (Not to the extent of yours, but still.)
And I, too, need to lose about 70 pounds.
It never occurred to me that they might be related.
(tiny voice) I'll do it with you. (/tiny voice)
Se-ven-ty does sound like a good number. Works for me. I'm so there. (Actually, I'm in New York, but still.)
# posted by
shrinking indigo : 1:09 PM
Jen: Thank you!
Indigo: Yeah, let's do it. Weirdly, reading your comment inspired me. Imagine - doing something difficult with the supportive vibes of people across the country. Wah-wah-wah-wah...
(That was the magic weight-loss vibe noise.)
I started today. I'm doing "low carb" (really, low glycemic index) because the cause of my symptoms appears to be the same thing that causes my hypoglycemia. Tell me when you start and what you're doing, if you want.
# posted by
Gwen : 7:53 PM
You've inspired me too Gwen. My reasons are not the ovaries, but I'm going to do it with you. Yes, I did gain weight since you last saw me. I want to loose 35 lbs.
I'm going to try the continous exercise, no junk food, and less food portions.
# posted by
Carlos Valenzuela : 1:56 PM
Yay!
Let's do it!
Actually, today when I went back to the doctor, I asked them how much I weighed, since I don't have a scale. And I weighed 10 less than I thought, so I think losing 60 is a more realistic goal for me. But, okay. Do it, you guys. Rock the weight loss. I'm rocking it with you.
What are y'all doing for exercise? I'm going to do DDR, and God willing, I will try to force myself to walk around the neighborhood after work, as soon as I finish up my novel revisions. And I might walk at work, during lunch, too - if I think I can do so without smelling bad afterwards. Ha.
# posted by
Gwen : 2:18 PM
Hey Gwen,
I lost 40 pounds about a year ago. The lion's share of that kind of fell off of me with a combination of a change of eating habits and about 5 hours a week at the gym.
If you ever, ever want to know the details, just let me know. I go on and on about it -- I suspect it bores people -- so I'll wait for you to ask.
I'd pledge to lose 70 lbs with you, but then I'd be 95 lbs and I'd die.
# posted by
Mike : 9:13 PM
Mike: You can tell me. Please do. But I know you run a lot, and I've decided that God doesn't want me to run.
I want to hear how people have lost weight, in general. I like success stories.
# posted by
Gwen : 8:34 PM
A suggestion: Put the scale in the garbage can. Throw it away.
Now, find some clothing that may be a wee bit too tight.
That will be your "scale".
To that "diet", add walking for 30 minutes every day, rain or shine. If you have a gym or something, hit the treadmill or the eliptical (my favourite). Notice, I said "walking". Not "running". God, I hate to run.
Start with 30 minutes. When you're comfy, add another 15 minutes.
Got an iPod or Walkman? Load it up with your favourite stuff. Stuff that makes you RUN to the dancefloor when you go out. That's the stuff that'll keep you walkin'.
The thing is this: muscle weights more than fat.
I threw my scale out when I realised that it wasn't about what the scale said. It's all about how my clothes fit.
I wish you great amounts of health.
: )
Another Gwen
# posted by
TllGurl : 7:58 AM
Other Gwen: Thanks for the good wish.
# posted by
Gwen : 10:22 PM
Hey Gwen,
A little late to the commenting, but I recently lost about 55 lbs. I needed help so I went to LA weight loss. It was expensive, but it worked for me.
Basically then, it was all done through diet, portion control, a little calorie counting and that sort of thing.
I'm not quite at my goal, but I have stopped the program. Now I have been running and exercising and I hope to drop the last 10 lbs or so that way. I also still watch my portions and calories.
# posted by
lisal : 10:15 AM
Hey Gwen,
I'm late with the commenting, too, but I've lost 125 pounds over the past year or so on Weight Watchers and through walking. Yeah, just walking. I walk for about 40-50 minutes 4-5 times a week. I think it's about 3.5 miles, but I never really kept track of it.
Good luck! :)
p.s. I still have 70 pounds to go, so I join you in your goal! :)
# posted by
kel : 1:58 PM
Another long time reader, seldom commenter. My parents have both lost 35 lbs or so doing South Beach and kept it off for about 2 years now. My mom also walks about 3 miles every day. It worked for them, but they have way more willpower on food than I do. I'm trying to just do the walking and reduce my calorie intake a little bit, because that should eventually add up. (I hope!) I'm hoping I can talk my brother into buying me a PS2 for DDRing for Christmas, but right now on days when it's too cold to walk outside I use an old aerobics step that I bought for $2 at a thrift store and step up and down while watching one episode of an hour long show like The Amazing Race.
Somebody asked for thoughts on how to lose 70lbs and keep it off on Ask Metafilter recently, so maybe there'll be something good in here: http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/50683
# posted by
Ms Molly : 9:43 AM
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