Guess what. I'm gonna be on Road Trip Nation! Thanks to the Unknown Reader who recommended my blog to her friend Camilla. Unknown Reader, I enjoyed meeting your friend!
Sneak preview of upcoming novel.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Yay! (Plus Bugs)I found my tile today! I decided to flake on work and go to a new tile place, and I found the tile I wanted, for cheap, deliverable this week. Woo hoo!
There was a weird, pregnant-looking, translucent spider walking on the tiles near our hands as I talked to the tile-store owner. He didn't brush it away, and neither did I.
When I got home, there was a half-dead stink bug trembling on its back in our walkway. I screamed very quickly and quietly, then carried my bags inside. I sent my son out to retrieve the trash can from the curb, warning him about the stinkbug. When he came back, he said the bug hadn't been there. But the air stank. It stank like dead stinkbug.
I am so, so glad I decided to take the day off today. I had only planned to take the afternoon, but after waking up at 5:45 AM with a huge task list already on my mind, and after getting caught in an unexplained, un-broadcast-by-radio traffic jam, I decided to just U-turn and go back home. I called Florence to tell her I wouldn't be in. She didn't answer. Gloria answered and said Florence had taken two days off to get her one child ready for school tomorrow. I thought of my three children going to school tomorrow and decided to quit feeling so damned guilty about taking one day off.
New couch shows up some time this afternoon. Woo hoo! Although I'm afraid to get too excited about that, since my kids will almost certainly stain the couch as quickly as they can. They've already put two scratches on laminate floor. :
Speaking Of
There are some bad kids - no, bad parenting in this subdivision. Twice this morning I witnessed children saying things to their mothers that would certainly earn them a slap across the mouth in my family.
1. A woman led her brat to their car. "Open the door and get in," she said. "Shut up!" he said. "Don't talk to me like that," she replied. What the hell??? I thought maybe he was disabled, though. Maybe he had Turrets or something.
2. In a craft store, a little 8- or 9-year-old brat ran around and almost knocked over some glass things. His mother said, "What in the world is wrong with you?"
He replied, "What in the world is wrong with you?"
See, right at that point, I felt a slap across my cheek as if I said the words myself. At the same time, I felt a slap within my own hand at the mere thought of a kid saying that to me. So what did his mother say?
First, she sort of raised her voice and said, "You are acting like a nut! You are acting like a nut!" Then she said it a few more times for good measure. I kind of thought she might be about to have a nervous breakdown, from the way she kept repeating it in a weird, high-pitched, sing-song tone.
The boy said something in a rude tone and kept running around. Then, I don't know if she grabbed him by the arm or what, but he sort of squealed. Not as if he'd been hit, but as if he'd been inconvenienced in some way.
Then, the mom said, "Honey, I just want you to be safe. There's a lot of glass around here. I just care about you and want you to be safe, okay?"
The boy grimaced at her and walked with his arms crossed. I went away at that point, before the compulsion to discipline her kid became more than I could bear.
I'm not saying people need to hit their kids, necessarily. I'm actually kind of hyperbolizing when I say that. But, seriously as hell, what is wrong with telling your kids, "You'd better quit running around or I'm gonna take your ass home." I swear to you - the first time you actually drag a kid home for acting bratty in public, that'll be the last time you have to do it. After that, the mere threat will suffice.
Okay - for some kids, you have to drag them home twice. I admit that. But still. It's worth it. You drag them home once or twice when they're young, and you never have to put up with insane public behavior again.
It's not hard, people. They're kids, not teacup chihuahuas wearing little pink jumpsuits. If you present the consequences of their actions in a clear, stern voice, they will usually come around to your point of view.
Maybe I should write a child-rearing manual. I could self-publish it, carry it around with me, and sell it to people whose kids are being brats in public. Hmm. 12:50 PM #
Comments:
Amen sistah!!!Just. AMEN!!!!
# posted by
pixielyn : 5:01 PM
Hee. I remember my mom had The Look. She would never yell or anything like that in public, but if we got The Look we knew we had to cut out whatever we were doing right now or else things would not be fun when we got home.
I'm always surprised when I see parents in public who haven't mastered the art of The Look. As kids we always thought it came standard when the baby was born. :)
# posted by
lumenatrix : 6:27 PM
today, i took my daughter to the annual "meet the teacher" event at her school. on the way out, a mother and son behind us noticed a nearby golf cart which the son, of course, wanted to go play on. he headed that way and the mother started in with the, "if you touch that golf cart, you're going to be in trouble!" which then escalated to, "don't touch that golf cart! you'll be in big trouble!" the whole time, crossing her arms and standing at least 20 feet away from her son.
i looked down at my six-year old daughter and told her how much i appreciate her listening to me when i tell her not to do something. she looked solemnly up at me and said, "you'd spank me if i acted like that. his mom should spank him more." indeed, honey. indeed.
# posted by
curvature : 8:22 PM
My dad had 'the look' too. I get so fed up with parents who have no idea how to discipline kids. I don't have kids, but I see kids all the time who have mastered the lesson of "if I crank up annoying to *this* level, I'll get whatever I want." If I misbehaved, I would be punished and my parents would hold that punishment to the letter and I just don't see parents I know who hold to that nowadays. Alot of them feel guilty, back down, and teach their kids how to get away with murder.
What really drives me crazy are kids who scream like sirens in grocery stores, restaurants, public places and the parents don't do anything about it. I completely understand that a kid will screech on occasion, but to allow them to scream at the top of their lungs for 20 straight minutes while the parent completely ignores them really makes me want to throttle the parent.
# posted by
Shannon Bow : 11:19 PM
I would totally buy a parenting book that you wrote. In fact, I insist you write one :)~
# posted by
Kimberly : 1:03 AM
I still remember the terror I felt when my Dad would pull over on the side of the freeway and threaten to leave me there if I didn't stop teasing my sister. It was effective, yes, but I won't terrorize my baby like that :(
I sort of feel like kids misbehave for a reason, like when they're going on hour 5 of being dragged from Target to K-Mart to the grocery store and then to Payless.
It sure sounds like I'll be the super-duper permissive parent with the naughty child in tow, haw haw.
# posted by
Mr. Bean : 11:41 AM
Maybe I should write a child-rearing manual. I could self-publish it, carry it around with me, and sell it to people whose kids are being brats in public. Hmm.
I think you TOTALLY SHOULD. Because it seems like many folks have lost the thread when it comes to raising decently behaving, nice children. Sure seems like a mystery to me!
# posted by
pinky pinkerson : 11:42 AM
You should definitely write a parenting book, if only so that I can have the thrill of going to your book's page on Amazon and seeing the phrase "People who bought this book also bought..." followed by the title of MY parenting book. Heh.
# posted by
Doppelganger : 4:30 PM
Hi Gwen,
Oh God! The last few weeks have been torture! I been having to go to the store a lot for school supplies and school cothes for my daughter, and mostly at Wal-mart. And I keep hearing kids screaming each and everytime! It makes my ears hurt!
Your right just taking the kid home would help!
In fact we also used that technique when my daughter was very little. When our daughter would pitch a fit in a store we would grab her up, and we would go home right then with her.
And on the way home we'd tell our daughter, "We were going to buy you a toy, but since you decided to have a fit--we are not going to get you anything! And it all your own fault!"
It worked and she finally stopped having fits. "Guilt," to quote Rose Ann, "is a many splendid thing!"
Janice~
# posted by
Janice : 3:53 AM
But of course that technique only works if the child in question isn't secretly hoping to disrupt your shopping trip enough in order to be taken home. I have one like that. In his case, it's more like, "You're going home and you're not going to like it there. I'm going to make it as uncomfortable for you at home as you did for me at the store."
# posted by
Ginny : 11:58 AM
Pixie: TY.
Lumenatrix: I know, right?
Curvature: Ha! I love it. Your daughter sounds awesome. Hey - are you near me geographically? Can't remember.
Shannon: Word.
Kimberly: :)
# posted by
Gwen : 9:56 PM
Mr. Bean: I agree with you that kids act up for a reason. And I agree with you that you shouldn't do what your dad did. But I think there's a difference between being empathetic with an overtired child, and letting a child talk back to you, you know? The thing that struck me about the scenes I described was the back-talking. Totally unacceptable, to me.
Pinky: :) Then the people would be like, "Whatever, hooker. Your kids are total brats." ha.
Doppel: Ha! We could do an anthology, of course...
Janice: Me, too! The whole, "Well, I was going to buy you X until you started misbehaving and I was forced to take you home..." It's genius.
Sophia: Totally. Me, too! Mine are now old enough that when I say, "Do you want to go home?" they say, "Yes, please."
Then I say, "Okay, but let me just warn you that if we go home right now, I'm going to be very annoyed." And they're like, "sigh, okay."
(Actually, mine have finally gotten old enough to stay home by themselves. You may, therefore, dismiss all my young-child-parenting advice as rose-colored nostalgia.)
# posted by
Gwen : 10:03 PM
I shy away from saying things or even thinking about other people's (lack of) parenting skills because the only things I have ever parented have four legs, but I have been *seriously* tested in Ross... That place is like a big geographical birth control pill.
# posted by
Stinkydog : 10:49 PM
I think you stole my translucent spider. How did you do that? How did you get it to follow you to the hardware store? It used to live in the corner of my shower, and I watched it, and it became mildly giant and stopped growing. Months, months I put into the pregnant (looking) spider. Well not put into, but looked at. It dissapeared the other day and I honestly felt a good minute of worry that someone had come into my house and cleaned out the spider corner just to show me they'd been in my shower, and therefore, my house. Soon after it occured to me that most people would assume if I let the spider stay then chances are I'm lazy, or apathetic, or haven't seen it -- that would be absentminded I guess. Also, the web was still there.
Spider stealer.
# posted by
olive & rose : 3:24 AM
gwen,
yeah, i'm up in cy-fair. and i think you're awesome. :)
# posted by
curvature : 4:48 PM
Stinkydog: I applaud your restraint. (While practicing none, myself.) And, yes, Ross is insane. In fact, I wrote a song about it. Would you like to hear it?
http://www.gwenworld.com/diary20021213.html
Rose: I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.
Curvature: :)
Are your initials JB, or are you someone else?
# posted by
Gwen : 9:01 PM
nope, i'm someone else. i'll email you. soon, if my week gets any less crazy.
# posted by
curvature : 2:59 PM
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