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Sunday, August 06, 2006
Last NightA kitten ran to our feet as we pulled into the driveway and emerged from the car at 2:30 AM. He (kitten) seemed starving and scared, and yet affectionate and desirous of human company. We took him inside and fed him a can of tuna, then made him an impromptu litter box and bed, all before settling down to our own Whataburger taquitos.
Unfortunately, the kitten felt the need to bite my children's Playstation controller cords, claw my laundry, and bite my hands.
We put him outside after he'd eaten and gotten a little nervous (biting) energy out of his system. Whenever we'd catch him being bad, we'd pick him up to take him outside and he'd purr. Momentarily, the purring would throw us off and we'd let him stay inside a bit longer. Eventually, however, the Dark Side won him over and he went outside, and I only let his long, loud mewling tear my heart a little before I fell into a pre-hung-over slumber.
In the morning, he was gone.
Hey: Maybe he was just a dream.
Earlier Today
We ("We," in today's entries, means me and my boyfriend Tad) went to Best Buy and on the way, passed Pet Smart, and Pet Smart was holding Pet Adoptions Today. I suggested we check it out, because I love seeing the apathetic cats and reading the descriptions of them on the papers attached to their cages.
Today there was a beautiful white cat named Kaya or Maia or something like that, but she was more nerve-wracked than apathetic because the adopt-a-dogs were totally freaking out. Every time some person came in with their own dog, as if their dogs need to be shopping at Pet Smart, one particular adoptable dog would start barking his ass off, as loud as canine-ly possible. Then the dog next to him would freak out and start tearing up stuff in his cage. Like, we watched him literally tear up a towel. Into strips.
The pet adoption volunteers would yell, "Stop that! Cody! Stop that!" which, as you can imagine, was the best way to make the dogs stop making noise. (Actually, you're wrong. It didn't work at all.)
We looked at the birds and the rodents and the reptiles. And the fish. And then we tried to look at the cats again, but the dogs were barking in a special way that was specifically designed to pierce the auditory brain center of anyone who'd had a few mojitos the night before. (Tad used fresh mint from Whole Foods, making them taste extra good.) So I got a headache, and we had to leave.
Stupid People Who Can't Drive
There are a lot of stupid people in my new neighborhood who endanger my life with their horrible driving. I wish they would stop driving, or only drive when no one else is on the road. Or, at the very least, turn their fat freaking heads and look behind them once before putting their cars into reverse and abrubtly backing out of their driveways. And I drive slow in our neighborhood, too. I heart my kids, just like everyone else here. So - watch where the fuck you're going, stupid people who don't deserve cars.
Same goes to everyone driving to and from Austin every weekend. Jesus Christ, people. Get off your phones and use your mirrors. I am so freaking wired right now from the multiple adrenalin rushes it takes to save my life three or four times per Austin trip. I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET, PEOPLE. PLEASE LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
The funny thing about the suburbs is that people will almost kill you, then make snotty faces and hand gestures at you... and yet it will freak them out when you throw the finger at them in return. "Oh, no," they seem to think. "This person is dangerous."
I can't help it, though. Try to kill me and, if you fail, I will live to throw the finger at you, to defy you trying again. It's one of the survival instincts I learned while driving in the 'hood, I guess. Sorry, suburban neighbors. I'm going to practice making the "What the hell" gesture, instead.
Because I want to fit in and be accepted. I want to be a good member of my community. 10:34 PM #
Comments:
if you smile and wave at people, that makes them even angrier! i like to do that.# posted by
Liz : 2:49 PM
I still slow down and look both ways when I see the "Deaf Child at Play" sign in my neighborhood. I figure it's probably just kids that don't listen to their parents or car horns, but still, I would feel way worse if I hit a deaf kid. I flip off the blind kids though because that shit's just funny.
# posted by
Tiffany : 11:18 PM
Hi Gwen,
I totally agree with you. I just hate people who try to back up with out even once--looking over their shoulder.
Rear view mirrors don't show you the whole picture!
My husband has been rear ended once and it tore up our bumper.
And by coincidence my daughter almost got ran over at the wal-mart shopping center over the weekend. I yelled at the driver your gonna run over my daughter, and she stopped.
And I think a lot of people need to go back to driving school and pay closer "attention" to what is being taught!
Janice~
# posted by
Janice : 12:44 AM
Oh Gwen, you crack me up!!! The kitten was placed there for you to have home owners stray cat lament dontcha know? Hah! Every house I've moved to has a stray cat or kitten to tease you.
Does that mean its a definite no on the puppies then? awwwwwwww
and on the drivers!!! oh my I so know what you mean and I have a huge assed truck and it takes me 10 minutes to pull out of parking lots because I'm scared sheetless that I wont see someone behind me. I watched a friend accidently back into someone without really looking and its so heartbreaking on both sides. And here they just whizz around the corner by my house, I was tempted to go buy some huge orange cones!!! no kidding!!! HUGE. ORANGE. Cones to slow people down who are supposedly neighbors. *sigh*
# posted by
pixielyn : 9:52 AM
Clarifications: I didn't throw the finger at the person who backed out of their driveway without looking. I threw the finger at a guy who wasn't paying attention when the car in front of us suddenly stopped, forced us to suddenly stop. He honked and furiously cut around us on the grass, then made a WTF gesture at us in his rearview mirror. As if we were stupid for stopping in order to keep from plowing into someone else.
Also: I say I put the kitten outside, but I actually put him into my fenced backyard, with food and water, meaning to post his description to the neighborhood Lost and Found. (But he escaped.)
Sometimes I type these things really fast, leaving out the details that make me seem less like a total jerk, as I realize later.
# posted by
Gwen : 9:57 AM
Liz: Ha. Seriously, I have to start doing that. My friend Yvonne sometimes makes the "shame on you" gesture.
Bev: They have signs for individual disabled kids? Dude.
Janice: You're so right. Sometimes I think they should go to special school where they can simulate driving in their normal way (like in virtual reality headgear) then see for themselves what trouble they can get into.
Pixie: I seriously kind of think the kitten was there to keep me from getting a pet right now. And, yeah, it looks like definite no on the puppies. The whole thing, so very surprisingly (not), was just the usual jerk-around engineered by my babies' daddy, who is now going to sell the puppies, he says.
I think a lot of people just drive on autopilot, really. I can see how long commutes would turn you that way, for your own sanity.
# posted by
Gwen : 10:02 AM
Gwen:
If you are in the market for a kitty. I have one. This little grey guy was born here at our house and his wonderful. Fuzzy and comical. If you want him, he is yours. email me. jayeramseysutter@mac.com
# posted by
Texas Jaye : 12:02 PM
Gwen,
I am going to look ashamed right now. I just got back from a road trip to Chicago, and I almost changed lanes into someone. I wasn't on the phone, though! I am just a bad driver, and I try not to drive much. It was kind of a dumb idea to take a roadtrip. Your post made me feel really guilty.
Also, along the lines of what Liz said... My English teacher in high school described how she responds to the bird by blowing people a kiss. I've tried it, and believe me... it's hilarious. They just really do NOT know how to handle that.
-- Jeffy
# posted by
Jeffytown, USA : 10:14 PM
Texas Jaye, whose name I've always loved: Thanks. But I think I need an older girl cat. Do you have any of those?
Jeffy: Don't feel guilty. Ignore my road rage and venting. But, at the same time - be careful. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. When I totally eff up and almost hit somebody with my car, I like to do an embarrassed wave and mouth "Sorry!" Sometimes they throw the finger at me, anyway and I just have to take it. But I would never knowingly throw the finger at you, sweet Jeffytown.
:)
# posted by
Gwen : 8:28 AM
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