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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Feelings

I miss my kids a lot. I'm ready for them to come home from their summer visitation with their dad. I miss my kids so much, it makes my uterus hurt. (Either that or it's just normal periodical cramping.) (But still.)

I'm in Flexible Mode. That means I'm taking a break from getting pissed off when other people mess up my plans. See, normally, I have tons of plans and lists and timelines. I have to, or else nothing in my life would get done. Now, however, I'm at the mercy of contractors, movers, utility companies, and the weather. If I let myself, I could break down and cry in frustration over the sheer number of tentative plans that have been ruined so far this week. But I'm not letting myself. Because I'm in Flexible Mode, and that means that I constantly tell myself that all plans made are highly likely to change.

I can't wait until everything gets done and I can exit Flexible Mode, and get back into Highly Controlled Mode, and therefore back into normal life.

I think Flexible Mode makes me uncomfortable because it reminds me of being a child, or a housewife. I don't want to feel like that. I've been a Head of Household for six years now, and I will be for the rest of my life.

Lately, I have no Internet access at home. As you can imagine, it's frustrating. I miss my World of Warcraft character, Xora. I wonder how she's doing out there in that other world. Sometimes, when one of my newest plans gets changed (like when I found out yesterday that no one in Houston can move my stuff until Sunday), I think about Xora flying over the ocean on her rented hippogriff. And I wish I was her for a moment. But I can't be. Because I have no Internet connection at home. And no cable, either. And no TV.

I kind of wish I had a cat. Sometimes I hate to be alone at night. But, then again, sometimes I like it.

I can't wait for my kids to come home and see the new house. I miss those brats. I can't wait for them to be here with me, riding in the car, arguing and calling each other names while we run around town. Unpacking. Cleaning. Making Jell-O. Having fun. Being a family.

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8:28 AM #

Comments:

 LOL..I like that..Flexi Mode . I know what you mean about going crazy with out the "Net. I have been playing in a Dune inspired RPG for about 4 years now with the same Group..I am the Bene Gesserit Order..anyhoo...when the spouse is on line..they annoy him by IM'g.." Can Boshi come out and play ? It's a hoot and then some.

Congrats on the House Hon

Still toiling in 2A


# posted by Blogger Boschka : 3:04 PM  

 Your kids are going to love the house! How fun! They'll be home before you know it. Miranda starts Kinder in 2 weeks! YIKES! I'm not ready.


# posted by Blogger ShoeGirl : 6:05 PM  

 Hi Gwen,

Relax, and take a deep breath, and now let it out.

You can't control everything so let it go.

And later when thing are more or less back to normal you can get over controlling once again, and all will be right in the Gwen universe!

Congrats once again on your house, and I'm sure your kids are gonna love it.

Janice~


# posted by Blogger Janice : 1:43 AM  

 i don't have internet at home, either. i have to come to the library. there are so many bums here.


# posted by Blogger Liz : 1:53 PM  

 Wait a minute, Gwen. What happened to your cat? Oh, God. Maybe you shouldn't tell.


# posted by Blogger tina : 11:33 PM  

 Boschka: Ha. Your spouse can't beat you, therefore he should join you.

Shoe: Oh, jeez. Have fun being a new Kinder mom. I remember that stuff like it was yesterday, and now my oldest is about to start high school. Where does all that time go?

Janice: Thank you. And, you were right - they do love it.

Liz: I went to a local teahouse to check email the other day, and a bum kept talking to himself and hiccupping beside me. He had, like, four empty bubble-tea cups beside him, too.

Tina: The scoop on the cat is midway through this column of comments:
http://www.gwenworld.com/2006/07/puppies.html


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 12:01 AM  

 If you need a kitty, I can hook you up with an awesome 7 week old.
So, if you find yourself in Mississippi...


# posted by Blogger Cave-Woman : 8:56 AM  

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