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Monday, June 12, 2006
Now that I've calmed down about it, several months after the fact...... I can tell y'all why I'm never eating at 59 Diner, on Shepherd and 59, again.
I had just recovered from my gall bladder removal surgery and was looking forward to eating a chili dog without subsequent pain. In fact, it was all I could think about. Chili dog. Chili dog. Chili dog.
Who had the best chili dogs in town? 59 Diner, I decided. The rest of their food wasn't the greatest, and the service was uneven lately, but you could always count on them for a good chili dog.
My boyfriend drove me and the kids to 59 Diner. Very slowly, I made my way to our table. My abdomen was still a little sore from the surgery, making it slightly difficult to walk, but I didn't mind. The pain would be worth the pleasure. The pleasure of the chili dog, I mean.
Service was slower than ever. Before our waitress made it over to take our order, we had plenty of time to watch an older waitress visit with her family. Apparently, the woman at the next table over was Older Waitress's daughter. The man there was Older Waitress's son-in-law, or else her daughter's-baby-daddy. The kid was the grandkid, spoiled and loud. Older Waitress visited with them for moments at a time, continually interrupting herself to bring to the table yet another cherry lemonade, strawberry milkshake, rootbeer float, etc.
Before our waitress even came to take our order, Older Waitress ran back to the kitchen and out again in order to bring her family a triumphant platter of chili cheeseburgers and chili fries. I think there may have also been a bowl of chili. Or a chili milkshake or something.
"Man, they must really like chili," I remember remarking to my boyfriend.
Finally, finally, finally, our waitress dragged her maudlin little self to our table.
"Chili dog with chili cheese fries!" I cried, clapping my hands like a little girl with a new doll who has recently undergone gall bladder removal surgery. My boyfriend and kids ordered this, that, and the other. The melancholy waitress disappeared.
Then she returned, like a sad-ass little genie.
"We're out of chili," she said.
"What?" I didn't know what she meant. How could they be out of chili? Were we or were we not at a diner?
"They ran out," she said.
"Well, can they make some more?" I asked. "Can they just open another can?"
"Uh... I can check." She went to do so. She returned. "Nope. They don't have any more." No apology. No rain check. Just that.
At that point I looked over at Older Waitress and her family. The baby sucked on a bottle. Their chili fries were picked at, the chili cheeseburger uneaten. They'd gorged themselves on free milkshakes, no doubt, and were unable to swallow the rest.
I rose from the bench seat, a crossbow in my hands.
"No, baby, no," said my boyfriend.
I had to order a cheeseburger. It tasted okay, but probably only because I was starving by then. Between bites, I told my boyfriend everything I intended to do. Write a letter. Call the district manager. Get the Older Waitress fired. Submit her grandchild's name to the Maury Povich Show for DNA testing.
At the end, I made the only promise that came true.
"We're never eating here again."
We haven't. Good riddance. Don't mess with me when I'm hungry. Don't interfere with my post-surgery cravings.
Sadly, however, I haven't yet found a replacement place to eat chili dogs. People in Houston, share suggestions, please. 10:40 AM #
Comments:
I have a friend in Houston who likes Beck's someting or other. Maybe they have good chili dogs too?# posted by
Tanya : 3:10 PM
Beck's Prime. Good idea! Thanks. I'll investigate.
# posted by
Gwen : 4:17 PM
Have you sworn off 59 Diner in general, or just that location? There's another one over by Willowbrook Mall. But I don't know where in Houston you live, that could be a loooong way to go for a chili dog.
# posted by
DeeDee : 10:55 PM
Willie's Icehouse has a passable chili dog...
# posted by
Yvonne : 12:28 AM
All I know is that it's 8:30 in the morning and I'm sitting at my desk drooling at the prospect of a chili dog.
And I have a bowl of sauce at home that is 20 minutes and a can of chick peas away from being really, really good chili.
Mailing it might not work though, Gwen.
# posted by
Mike : 7:42 AM
Just curious, exactly what should go on a chili dog? Are you a purist: just dog and chili?
# posted by
Yvonne : 8:21 AM
the only thing that should go on a chili dog is a few carefully cut triangles of american cheese, on top, and all melted. i've seen people put mustard on them, but i thought it was weird.
listen, if you're totally strapped, my mom used to line her 9"x11" pan with toasted buns, fill them with the dogs and chili and all that, toss 'em in the oven, and it made all of us very happy. i still think about them. and i bet you can get a much better grade of chili than the awful hormel rot she was forced to use. team them up with coke floats, and stay away from that 59 diner forever!!
isn't that nice heloise-ish advice? like some annoying big sister? or like my mother? ackkkk! i'm turning into her!
# posted by
lauralark : 9:46 AM
Deedee: Probably just that location. I used to use the I-10 one as an alternate, but now it's gone, so I'll definitely check out Willowbrook's. Thanks for the tip.
Mike: *Sigh.* Why do you have to be so lazy all the time? Just kidding. Chick pea chili sounds good. I'm doing that next time I make it at home.
Yvonne: The perfect chili dog has a nice boiled weinie on a lightly toasted bun, some grated cheddar cheese, a few onions, and a huge pile of chili that has discernable meat in it. Then, on all that, a nice line of cheap yellow mustard. Mm. Acceptable substitute: James Coney Island dogs with the red enchilada-looking sauce.
Laura: Ha. We always use Hormel for our home-style chili dogs. Or Wolf - whichever's on sale. You should try them with mustard - they're sexy like that.
Anybody like relish or sauerkraut? Me neither...
Fuddrucker's makes nice chili dogs, but they insist on serving them in baskets with paper lining. And you have to use a fork, so you're eating soggy paper by the time you're done.
(Yvonne, thank you for being my friend and inviting me to eat chili dogs tonight!)
# posted by
Gwen : 2:20 PM
The Hot Dog Shop (yes, that is it name) on Tanner road. Or Burger on a Stick on Gessner (real name of this restaurant unknown - everyone just calls them Burger on a Stick because their sign out front is a giant plastic burger stuck up on a metal pole - hence burger on a stick).
OK, they're both dives - but that's where you get the best chili dogs, right? You want chili dogs, eat where the oil patch people do. Lemur can hook you up, gimme a call.
As Y suggested, Willie's Ice House is good to...
# posted by
R.T. Lemur : 7:40 AM
Hi Gwen,
Sorry to hear about your post surgery cravings going bust.
We have a kinda new place here in my home town called sonics and my daughter just loves there conies a foot long chilli cheese dog. But you got to eat it with a fork.
I think the best chilli dogs are the ones you make yourself. Open a big can of hormel chilli(with or with out the beans, your choice) and boil the dogs and toast the buns, then add what ever your heart or tummy desires!
Janice~
# posted by
Janice : 2:27 AM
RT Lemur: You have my permission to escort me to Burger on a Stick, as well as the other establishment. We'll take the baby, because babies need nourishment, too.
Janice: We have Sonic here, too. I call it Vomit, but yeah, their food is pretty good, for fast food.
Would y'all laugh if I told you that we already make chili dogs at home about twice a month? And a pot of homemade chili once a month in addition to that?
Chili: One of the four food groups in Texas.
# posted by
Gwen : 2:26 PM
i'm going to be having this surgery pretty soon and it is so encouraging to know you where shoving greasy things down your throat soon after the surgery. i hope i have the same luck. :)
# posted by
Anne Jackson : 12:05 PM
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