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Friday, June 09, 2006
I'm going to be land-poor!

For the second time in my life, I'll be broke for a very good reason. The first time was when I left my effed up marriage, six years ago. (Yes, I've been broke way more than twice, but all the other times were for lame reasons.)

Now, I'm getting a house. If not the one I bid on yesterday, than another. I think it's just fine to go without cable and to carry a Spam sandwich to work every day... if you live in a house.

Sometimes I welcome the thought of being a little broke. It keeps me from forgetting my roots. Which are, as long-time readers know, poor/ghetto/barrio roots. The roots that have made me what I am. Not unlike the sweet potatoes that I enjoy eating baked from time to time...

A couple of my coworkers are land-poor, so I already have good models to follow. I know, for instance, that's it's okay to buy really nice furniture, because it's All For The House, plus you get it on credit with "no payment until the year 2036!!!" At the same time, I'm looking forward to never, ever going out to lunch, unless someone else is paying. I'm looking forward to standing around the water cooler talking about The Bachelor, American Idol, and So You Think You Can Invent a Cooking Show with Midgets because I won't be able to afford cable and I'll live in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but watch network TV or eat at Chili's.

I'm talking about making the transition to middle class, people. I'm talking about the American dream!

Already, I'm afraid of my innocent son accidentally impregnating a fast little blonde girl. Already, I'm trying to decide which is more risky: being agnostic in a suburb full of churchies, or being reborn Catholic in a Protestant world.

Will I be "that poor single mom with the three sweet boys," or will I be "that standoffish divorcee who's thankfully too fat to be a threat to anyone's marriage"?

Will my house be kind of awesome, or very, very awesome?

I think it will be the latter.

I think I need to buy capri pants.

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10:05 AM #

Comments:

 The answer is: Awesome.

I suggest you be the lovably eccentric single mom with the three hellions, but God Love you because you try so hard.

Welcome to house poverty. It sucks in the best possible way.


# posted by Blogger Mike : 10:15 AM  

 HOORAY FOR YOU :)

You know, being a long time reader (at least a year before you made the BIG MOVE back to Houston) I am so thrilled to be "sort of" a part of this big important moment in your life! Not to sound cliche, but girl, you deserve it, if anyone does, you do! Go GWEN! Congrats...sending LOTS of good vibes your way.....woooooo


# posted by Blogger Karisa : 11:36 AM  

 Congratulations!!!

Good luck! I vote for super awesome and standoffish divorcee with three awesome boys who is maybe just a little bit of a threat to everyone's marriage. And please sip martinis on your porch in the evenings occasionally.


# posted by Blogger plainamyjane : 1:24 PM  

 You'll have a totally awesome house and you'll all be fine. The 'burbs are FULL of former urbanites who don't really fit into that old idea of surburbia! You may even end up living next to a former rock 'n roll journalist and her husband the ex-punk who have raised a tree-hugging, socially conscience teen, all of whom are non-Christian, pagan-lovin' attenders of an actual congregation! If you move next to me, anyway.


# posted by Blogger Tanya : 1:26 PM  

 Yay! Congrats to you!

You are going to love it! Even the broke part, which is catching up with me a year after buying my own house.

But seriously, it's all worth it, just coming home to your own place.

A place where you can paint your walls lime green with pink trim, if you want.

Or you can put in a shag blue carpet and matching avocado green appliances in the kitchen.

Or you could even put up brown panelling over your walls for that really beautiful fake wood look.

But the best part of all that is - no one can tell you not to. Oh, people should tell you not to, and hopefully would, but you wouldn't have to listen. Because it will be YOUR place.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The above ideas are simply ideas and not really what my house looks like. Not that they don't sound beautiful in theory, but....no. Not in my house thanks.

Also, they would all cost money, which home owners no longer have on account of having to pay a combination of thousands of dollars worth of interest and $1 worth of principle every month for the rest of our lives.

Who me? Why yes I did just recently learn how compound interest works, and yeah, it sucks, but it's a necessary evil.

And anyway, anything got to be better than renting.


# posted by Blogger lisal : 2:03 PM  

 You could always alternate Bennigan's with Chili's... just joking. Welcome new burbie, we'll make that burb cooler than the loop... yessir.


# posted by Blogger Yvonne : 4:44 PM  

 YEAH!!! I sent you good vibes from my work computer yesterday by the way. Hope they helped! I'm happy for you. You'll be the cool dovorcee writer that all the soccer moms will envy!


# posted by Blogger ShoeGirl : 4:50 PM  

 Great news! A house is a wonderful thing. Every week, something happens where we're really glad to not be sharing walls - baby has a fit, we have a party, neighbors make noise, whatever. It's nice to have the privacy! Even if we've learned more about fixing garage doors than we really wanted to know . . .


# posted by Blogger Lady M : 11:26 PM  

 Hi Gwen,

Good luck, and did you feel the massive load of good vibes I sent your way yesterday?

I think you'll be the divoracee/writer/soccer mom with the three great kids, that all the other mom's want to be.

Good luck and I hope you get that house!

Janice~


# posted by Blogger Janice : 4:19 AM  

 Lovely Gwen:

Congratulations on your house poverty. May somebody buy the movie rights to your books, may the eventual film adaptation not suck, and may the residuals allow you to move from "house-poor" to "mansion-poor".

In simple terms, Whoo-hoo!


# posted by Blogger jo-hanna : 8:51 AM  

 Awesome, awesome awesome!

Being broke is going to be so fun!


You need one pair of capris, one khaki skort and one flowered housecoat. You will indeed threaten all the other marriages because you are that cool and beautiful divorcee that needs help with those 3 beautiful boys BUT you will also be that really cool neighbor that has the BEST holiday decor and the BEST Holloween block parties and all that............

You will ROCK in that house Gwen and you so know it.


# posted by Blogger pixielyn : 9:43 AM  

 It is a great feeling. It took me years to finally decide to buy a house. (of course the military had a lot to do with that). It's tough but I know it's mine alone. As a single parent of a 14 year old we have been surviving the past 14 years. From day one of his birth we have never gotten child support, not one dime, I am proud to say. So if we can make it anyone can. Owning a home is expensive but the benefits are great.


# posted by Blogger Civilian : 12:59 PM  

 We're totally buying you a Weber grill for your housewarming party! Congratulations.


# posted by Blogger Tiffany : 2:15 PM  

 That is so cool! Make sure to frequent Claire Chauvin's "Poopscape" for a lot of really cheap, really great decorating ideas. She's the queen. And you must make sure to tell me when you have a housewarming party. I will be there with something you might need, and then I'll get to meet your brilliant booty.

by the way...i hate going out to lunch. i am the cheapest person alive. when i worked at the CAM, everybody made fun of me because i brought my own thermos of coffee, a cheese sandwich, and an apple, every day. fewer calories, less dinero, and less inane chatter!


# posted by Blogger lauralark : 7:51 PM  

 I'll throw some CA words at ya Gwen, EXCELLENT, SWEET!!!

Congratulations!!! I feel a lot of excitement for you in my heart. I am seriously considering moving to Texas to get out of CA so that my daughter and I can live in a real house rather than this $350,000 900 sq. ft. fixer-upper, dump of a condo. Real condos cost half a mill.

Sign, I'm so envious. You can have a garden, flowers, etc. Your boys can play in the yard and have water fights. Wow, I've been reading your blog for a long time and this definitely has to be one of three huge steps I've seen up the mountain; getting away from that person who didn't appreciate you, finding someone who does, and now this. I'm sure there are a lot more big and little mile stones that I missed.

Congrats again!!


# posted by Blogger Vicki : 2:41 AM  

 Congrats Gwen! That's awesome.

You'll totally be the mom that all the other moms are secretly envious of because you have great kids and they'll get to whisper to each other "Did you hear? She's a writer! I even heard she's been quoted in some New York newspaper! Do you think we're cool enough for her?"


# posted by Blogger Alice : 6:03 AM  

 Wow. Congratulations. I'm envious! You've worked very hard for this, Gwen, and you deserve every little speck of mortar and insulation!


# posted by Blogger tina : 8:57 AM  

 LOL yeah and they'll be trying to peep in your windows and trying to find reasons to be out when youre out so they can casually ask you about the "poor fatherless boys", the reason why you dress cool AND afford to have great purses AND jewelry and how can you afford to buy yourself that house and yada yada yada. Neighborhoods can be so fun and cloying at the same time. "a villiage" does have its up AND downs but more ups. I like to make friends in my neighborhood fast. It just makes that mortgage seem funner to pay. every time you write the check you feel more cozy. Like you bought yourself a house AND friends. heh.Seriously. You will have fun on this new adventure............. so tell us already without jinxing it. What is it like, the one you bid on?


# posted by Blogger pixielyn : 9:05 AM  

 This post has been removed by a blog administrator.


# posted by Blogger pixielyn : 9:05 AM  

 Mike: Ha. That sounds like the one.

Karisa: Thank you. It's pretty awesomely gratifying to know that you and others have been following along for so long.

Plainamyjane: Ha! Yes. Dirty martinis, just for you.

Tanya: Thanks. You give me hope.

Lisal: And I was just about to ask for your decorator's name...


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 9:26 AM  

 Yvonne: Yes. The process has already begun. You were its seed.

Shoegirl: Thank you.

Lady M: I hear you. Ours will be Dance Dance Revolution and Playstation Karaoke.

Janice: You're so sweet to me, always.

Jo-Hanna: Thank you. *FROM YOUR LIPS TO GOD'S EARS.* Because that would be nice.

Pixie: Thanks. I wish K-Mart was still around, because they had the *best* housecoats, with the snaps and the piping.

Civilian: It sounds like you deserve it. Congratulations.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 9:31 AM  

 Beverly: I don't know what a Weber grill is, but I can't wait to see y'all at the party. :)

Laura: Definitely. I love imagining you at the CAM with a thermos. I need a thermos.

Vicki: Thank you. And, yes, I recommend that all of you move to Texas. Look - go to HAR.com's house search, put in $300,000 for the max, and see what you can get for your money here in Houston.

Alice: Ha. That would be funny. At my kids' current elementary, none of the other parents found out I was a writer until very recently. No matter how much I hint, my kids refuse to brag about me at school...

Tina: Don't be envious. Just move to Houston!

Pixielyn: So what you're saying is... they'll be just like my coworkers? Ha.

I wish I could describe the house, but I *can't* yet - I seriously am too, too afraid of jinxing it. But rest assured that, if/when I get it, I'll totally do a huge before/after house makeover photo exhibit and post it all on my Flickr page.

I'm thinking about doing dyed concrete for the living room floor...


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 9:39 AM  

 nO NO NO Better than coworkers. Honest. and I'll wait patiently for the pictures and discription, *sigh*

*gasp* you do NOT know what a Webber grill is? oh my my my. You really are house virgin arent you?you must know but just dont realize it. no. it cant be true.
Its those black UFO looking grills in the back of every truck headed to the lake. BUT for a home owner its the no-mess-cook-hamburgers-or-chicken-outside-in-the-backyard-every-night dream cookware. heh.

Seriously. You must google them.

Oh wow Gwen , you will get to hang out at Home Depot now too.
whanooooooooooooo


# posted by Blogger pixielyn : 9:20 AM  

 That's fantastic, I'm really happy for you. Buying a house is an excellent reason to be poor and I hope that you will be amazed at how fast you settle in and don't feel so broke all the time. Congratulations!


# posted by Blogger Joanne : 1:45 PM  

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