Sneak preview of upcoming novel.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I lied to you guys. I'm sorry.Remember the other day, when I was having that massive drama attack about not being able to buy a house, and I said I was renting a house, instead? Well, luckily my realtor/finance guy had the sense to keep working through the night on my credit/mortgage issues, and now, once again, I am buying a house.
In fact, I signed the contract yesterday. Not on the same house we were wishing for before, but on an even better house, for even cheaper.
The devil likes people who brag, as we all know. He rewards their bragging by giving them termites and jacked-up foundations to discover upon inspection. So, in the interest of keeping the devil's interest away from my new house, I'm going to refrain from talking about it anymore, at least until closing (July 14). Or, at least, until after the house is inspected and comes out okay. (God willing.) I will, however, thank you guys for all the vibes you've sent. Thank you!
Sensitive vegans and country music fans, do not read the following.
Are you lonesome tonight? I'm alone but I feel okay. I've been working my fingers off on final revisions of my upcoming novel, Houston, We Have a Problema, which will be available at a bookstore near you very soon. And I'm not just saying that because my editor reads this blog, either.
If you called me this evening and I said I would call you back and then I didn't, I'm sorry. I have to get these revisions done by July 14 (which is also closing day), and I have to intersperse the revisions with Hotmail breaks and Snood breaks, and, also, I have to eat.
Sometimes I feel like I should drink or smoke while I work on my novels so it can make me more literary, but cigarettes and wine are expensive, so I usually just eat sugar-free candy, instead. But not tonight. Tonight, instead, I had steak.
The other night, we went to our fave Inner Loop Houston Randall's grocery store, and they shocked and dismayed us by playing country music the whole time we were there. Normally they play awesomely bad-ass melow music from the '80s and '70s, such as Earth, Wind and Fire. So you can imagine that the sudden change freaked us out. I asked one of the Randall's employees what was up, and she said the country music would only play for a month or so, while Randall's Corporate promoted their new Rancho Relaxo steaks. (They're not called Rancho Relaxo, but they're something like that, so, you know, whatever.)
So, apparently, in exchange for torturing us with crappy music, Randall's put a whole bunch of steaks on radical sale. I bought a big old slab of London broil for four dollars (regularly priced at $14.72).
I haven't wanted to cook in my apartment's kitchen at all since The Mouse Incident and The Rat Incident mentioned earlier in this blog. Even though shining traps now guard every corner of our kitchen, I can't help but imagine that everything in our dishwasher, clean or dirty, has been marinated in rat juices, since that was one of their entrance points.
But the London broil was calling my name, so I sterilized all my equipment and cooked that steak in the way my boyfriend taught me. And then I ate half of it, with my very last bit of A-1. And that stuff was good. Damned good, y'all. Totally worth the trouble.
The rest I'll save for lunch or dinner tomorrow. I don't know if it'll be as good after microwaving, but that's the risk you run, I guess.
So that's what I did this evening. Revised my novel, and ate steak, and locked in my mortgage rate with my realtor over the phone. Fun, fun, fun. Please don't be jealous.
Please, magazine people, please...
Stop saying bump. Stop saying "baby bump." Please stop saying, "So-and-so's revealing bump," and "So-and-so shows off her bump." Jesus Christ. Say anything but that. Say hump, or lump. Say "grossly swollen womb." Please, people. Do it for my sanity.
Marigoldie fills my head with thoughts I don't completely understand.
The other day, Marigoldie was talking about baseball people and their intro music. Meaning the music that gets played when they enter the batter's box, and the supposition that these guys get to pick their own song.
I don't know much about baseball - I don't even know what a batter's box is - but I couldn't help but think that, if I were a baseball person, I'd like my song to be "Crosstown Traffic" by Mr. Jimi Hendrix.
Okay. That's it. I'm tired to the point of imagining rats out of the corners of my eyes, so I'm gonna go to bed now. I hope y'all have a good night.
Labels: domestic, pop culture, writing
9:35 PM #Comments:
I'm re-reading this entry (checking for mistakes) and I see now how completely not-happy and not-celebratory my house announcement sounds.And everybody in my real life knows that I'm *always* like that with the happy things. I'm too scared to celebrate. I'm too busy worrying about the next step.
So let me say it now, but very, very quietly: Yay! I got an awesome house! I'm closing on my first house in July! I'm going to be a homeowner!
There... now I can go back to hoping to God that the inspection goes okay.
# posted by
Gwen : 10:33 PM
Congrats on the house! That's all I'll say.
Steaks are yummy. When you can find quality choice cuts on sale, it's well worth the trouble of preparing them yourself--cause at a fancy restaurant you'll be paying at least five times that much.
# posted by
Datty : 11:53 PM
Okay, yes, I'm not going to get all over-the-top with the house thing since you're waiting for the inspection, BUT:
Congratulations. You should be really proud of yourself, for getting to this point all by your lonesome, complete with crappy (to you! not in general!) day job and burgeoning writing career and single motherhood and all. You are totally awesome and completely an inspiration.
# posted by
kate : 9:57 AM
Happy homeownership!
# posted by
Kaijsa : 4:52 PM
July 14th is Bastille Day! (It's also my son's first birthday).
Woot!
# posted by
Blondie : 8:05 PM
Aaiiiee! First I was like, "yay, house!" and then I was like, "mmm, steak!" and then I was like, "eeee, rats!" You exhausted me, Gwen! But seriously, felicitations on the house. That's great news.
# posted by
tina : 11:43 PM
Hi Gwen,
You lied to us? Sigh, you just can't trust people.
Congrats on the house, and I hope it (stomp stomp) free of the little buggers, (stomp stomp). I think I have a few around here too.
Janice~
# posted by
Janice : 3:48 AM
Hi Gwen,
While your house news is really great (no, it really is), I am commenting for the first time ever to give you a big amen about that whole "bump" nonsense. It makes me want to scream every time I hear it.
Thank you for hating it, too.
# posted by
foo : 5:58 PM
Gwen! Congratulations! Owning a house means painting your walls ANY COLOR YOU WANT. Even eye-searing ones, if that's what you like. At least, that's what HGTV tells my mom and me.
However... "Say hump, or lump." Hasn't Fergie assigned those words to other parts of the female anatomy? Ones that may attract boys to want to make babies, rather than assist in their gestation?
# posted by
Jeffytown, USA : 1:12 AM
Gwen, I love when you lie to me about happy things.
It's sexy. It's hot. It's now. It's happening.
I'm happy for you. Congratulations.
# posted by
Mike : 10:59 PM
Datty: Did you say it's worth *you* preparing it? I agree.
Kate: [blush] Thanks.
Kaijsa: Thank you.
Blondie: Congratulations on giving birth on the holiday for which a Rush song is named!
Tina: I aim to exhaust, ma'am. But thanks. :)
Janice: Thanks. The termite inspector said it only has grain moths. Mm, grain moths...
Foo: Any time. Glad to oblige.
Jeffytown: You're (and HGTV is) so right. I'm going with a nice, mellow, pale sage green, I think. And, yes, Fergie took them all. Let's go with zump, then.
Mike: Thank you, not least for making me laugh.
# posted by
Gwen : 3:10 PM
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