Gwen's blog

The Latest

Sneak preview of upcoming novel.

Thursday, June 15, 2006
The House Situation

It's so crazy, I can't even talk about it. It's an emotional rollercoaster. I don't know what's going to happen. Everything changes completely from one hour to the next. My bid's in. No, it's not. I have to prequalify. I did. No, I didn't. Yes, I did, but only if I want to eat half a Cup O'Soup for lunch instead of a whole one. No. Okay, then yes, but only if I bring the bank three cows and one flock of chickens. Okay. I'm ready. Oh, no! Someone else got the house! Oh, no they didn't. Wait, there's a better house! Hurry, hurry! Oh, someone else got it! Oh, and now someone has the other house, too! Oh, wait, no they don't... Hey - my credit report suddenly says that I live in a crack house and owe fifty-seven thousand dollars to Fingerhut for a gun rack and a set of dishes with ducks and geese on them! It didn't say that yesterday! Plus, I finished paying for those dishes six years ago! Now the bank wants a blood sample and a reference letter from each of my elementary school teachers. Oh, shoot - every single house in the whole world just got bought by somebody else...

I have to prepare for any eventuality, and I also have to move out of my apartment within the next two weeks. Y'all know I'm crazy superstitious about talking about things that haven't happened yet - in fact, I probably said too much last time I talked about it - so I won't say anything more until after I close on some house, somewhere. Assuming, God willing, that I do.

Buying houses is just like getting book deals, I've noticed. There's no use talking about it until all the paperwork is signed, because, otherwise, you're living in a kaleidoscope of shifting scenarios. You have to hope hard, but keep your hopes silent, just in case. Don't talk. Just hope and work. I'm sure a lot of y'all already know all about it. Buying a house is like having a baby, too. You've either lived through it or you haven't. You either know, or you don't.

The Chili Dog Situation

I wrote y'all a long, long comment about the chili dogs, but Blogger ate it. Now I have to type it again. But I did eat two chili dogs the other day, so don't worry.

Vicarious Trauma

My kids' puppies - the puppies they keep at their father's house - have worms. They know because they saw the worms for themselves.

Remember when we were kids, and we were always seeing gross, incredible things of nature, like walking sticks and ant lions, rabid squirrels and worms coming out of puppies' butts? Yeah, those were the days.

I asked the kids which was scarier: the worms, or The Omen, which their dad took them to see the other day. They said the worms. Even though I'm too scared to go see The Omen, I bet I'd agree.

Back to the House Thing

It's weird that my kids are with their dad for most of the summer, and that they'll be back in about 6 weeks, and, before they do come back, I will presumably have bought and moved our stuff into a house. (Not counting me moving out of my place within the next two weeks and living with one of my cousins until closing. How in the hell is that supposed to happen?!? Hush... breathe. Breathe.)

I have to admit that I'm pretty stressed. Or, at least, I'm trying to be.

See, I'm the kind of person who likes to stay stoic under stress and work my ass off until the stressful thing has disappeared. Then, after everything is completely safe and good, I like to have a big freak-out attack over absolutely nothing, in order to release all the stressed-out-ness I'd been saving up all along.

What? It's fun!

But it's stressful for people around me, too, so I'm trying to stop being like that. See, way down inside, I've been secretly very, very stressed ever since I found out in April that my oldest son didn't get accepted by any of the nice schools we applied for, and that he'd have to go to the same not-nice high school that I went to, myself. (It hasn't improved in the last twenty years.) But, you know... that's what happens when kids don't do their best, I figured. They have to go to crappy schools, maybe. I didn't want to go through with it, but maybe it was tough love time, right?

Then, when I found out that my straight-A middle son, who had no reason in the world not to be accepted by the same good middle school his older brother went to, was put on its waiting list at number 245... Well, then I was secretly, incredibly stressed out indeed. Because his alternative was to go to the worst middle school in the world, where the students are required to choose one of two disciplines: crack addiction or crack dealing, and then to minor in being drive-by victims. (I didn't go to that school, but my brothers did.)

Did I explain all that already? Not sure I did. So, anyway, what was my reaction? On the outside, I was all like, "Hey, you guys. Let's go buy new purses and eat chili dogs!"

But on the inside, I was working like that big old punch-card computer they made back in the day - the one that filled the whole room and calculated day and night. I thought and thought and contrived and contrived, and now here I am, trying to hurry up and finish the process I've started, which is getting the hell out of dodge and buying my first house ever, in a good school district, before the summer's end.

Then, the other night, I had a minor setback, and then the whole situation hit me like a tons of bricks, and I had a giant freak-out attack. Afterwards I felt better, but I'm sure my boyfriend was left a little traumatized. He's not into the whole flaming drama thing like I am. No, he's very calm and easygoing. That's why he's my boyfriend, I guess. But the drama attacks get to him, like worms from a puppy's butt. (HA!)

I know the stress isn't going to let up until the whole thing's said and done, so, in the meantime, I'm trying to manage my stress in a healthy way.

Only problem is, I'm not sure how people go about doing that. Hmm.

(Would you laugh if I told you that, under it all, I still consider myself an optimist? I know this will work out just fine, in the end.)

Thanks for listening.

I love y'all. Thank you very much for all the good wishes you've sent. I hope all you guys are doing well.

I'll write more soon, when something important (like a chili dog discovery) occurs.
 

2:14 PM #

Comments:

 Gwen, you're so great. Don't let the stress get you down. My interpretation of handling stress in a healthy way is not being a total bitch to the people around me and trying to deal with a given situation instead of hiding and pretending it doesn't exist. I figure, like you, all you can do is be all stoic and calm except for the occasional freak out, or possibly few freak outs, until you're all calm again.

Anyway, you seem like you're doing beautifully. I know you're going to get your house, and you're going to love it, and your sons are going to to the good school district, and everything is going to work out. Until then you just need to hang in there and remember that all your stress has prompted to take all these huge, life-changing, empowering steps.


# posted by Blogger kate : 3:55 PM  

 I'm probably no help at all telling you I know exactly what you're going through! I went through some pretty bad ups & downs too when we bought our first house. I'll tell you war stories over lunch.

Hang in there and just breathe! You'll do great!


# posted by Blogger ShoeGirl : 5:08 PM  

 Yes, all what they said. You'll do just fine...you always do. You always find a way to land on your feet even when there's nothing to land on.

Just calm down and take a deep breath whenever something slightly stressful comes up. And try not to take it out on others around you...they're only trying to help you:)


# posted by Blogger Datty : 11:29 PM  

 Gwen,

Don't worry. Everything will turn out fine. And also, I read this and kept thinking, 'Boy, I'm like that! And like that too! And I also stress like that!'

so, you're not alone, you won't be houseless and go eat a chili dog for me.


# posted by Blogger LC : 10:55 AM  

 House hunting can be a truly traumatizing and tiring process. I can sympathize, as a few years ago I went through the whole process myself.

Everytime I got excited about a place, it seemed that either (1) the house sold before I even had a chance to see it or (2) If I did see it & put an offer out there --> between the minutes that I saw the house and put in an offer, my dream house was already under contract.

But, Keep your head up. When you finanlly land the house of your dreams, it will be soooo worth it.


# posted by Blogger dragonflypurity : 4:13 PM  

 Thanks, you guys.

Seriously, not only is the whole house-hunt thing stressful... but the financing is very, very stressful. Especially when, like me, you're essentially too poor to afford a house.

I'm realizing that now. Now that I've spent more than a month on the process.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 11:11 PM  

 Hi Gwen,

Thanks for leaving a coment on my blog.

Gee, you are really stressed out! Breath, relax, breath, relax--like that.

I think you need to give yourself more than a month to find a house to buy. I think one of the problems is that you have a too restricted of a set time to buy a house. I understand why it's so your kids get in the betters schools.

So my idea is to rent a place in the right school disrict, and wait to later to buy a house.

Janice~


# posted by Blogger Janice : 12:27 AM  

 Post a Comment