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Monday, March 20, 2006
Say Goodbye to My Gallbladder Now

Because I'm going into surgery at 7:30 tomorrow morning. I went to meet with the surgeon today at 3, and he said, basically, in a nutshell, paraphrased, "Jesus Christ, we need to take that shit out of you as soon as humanly possible."

Luckily, one of his patients had flaked on her 7:30 AM surgery tomorrow, so I ran down to Preadmissions and, in a 4-hour jiffy, was set up to take her spot.

Whew.

I love my boyfriend, my cousin Helen, and my friends Letty and Brie for offering to help me out with the hauling of my kids to and from school. Y'all rock. (Wait by your phones, okay?)

The doctor said some people actually get over the surgery in as little as one day. I'm going to see if I can do that. I'm ambitious about it. But he also said he's going to have to do the three-hole laparascopic on me, and that the third hole will be bigger than usual, since my gall stone is bigger than usual.

Oh, shoot... I forgot to ask them if they'll save it in a jar for me to look at it when we're done. I need to ask them tomorrow.

My Poor Coworkers Need Surgery, Too

Yesterday, on my routine drive home from Austin (had to pick up kids from their babydaddy visitation), I made the mistake of eating tater tots from Sonic. At around 6 PM, my gallbladder started hurting. It hurt all the way home, through two Tylenols and one Aleve. After putting the kids to bed, I took a hydrocodone/acetaminophen and an anti-spasm pill, and it continued to hurt. Very badly. I cried. I writhed. I rolled on the floor. My boyfriend came over to hug me and feel sorry for me. I took another anti-spasm pill and finally fell asleep at midnight. At one, I woke up and the gallbladder was cranking up again, so I took another hydrocodone and conked out til my alarm went off at 5:30. I woke up feeling serene. Very, very serene.

While I showered and dressed and nagged my kids to do the same, my serenity slowly morphed into too-much-medication loopiness and nausea. I couldn't decide whether or not to go to work. Finally, guilt won out and I did.

At 8:40, I walked over to my coworkers' desks and told them that I didn't think I could make it. I needed to go home and back to sleep.

My coworkers quizzed me about my symptoms. Then, they proceeded to tell me, as they have before, how they have the same symptoms, but worse. And that they've been having them for years. Since before I was born, probably. I sympathized with them and expressed the wish that they could be the ones having their gallbladders removed. Alas, unfortunately, they can't; I guess because their doctors are too incompetent to properly diagnose them.

I feel so bad for them. They suffer so much, and hardly complain. If their stomachs hurt worse than mine, then they really are brave, to go to work on the days that I call in sick. Hopefully something can be done to ease their suffering soon.

Oh, and one of my other coworkers told me he hoped I'd feel better soon. Obviously, he has never known the pain of coming to work with gallstones, undiagnosed or not.

Meanwhile

I have to pick out suitable underwear for tomorrow. Just in case. I'm thinking either leopard-print thong, or Hello Kitty gingham thong. I would ask y'all to vote, but I probably won't be able to read your comments until tomorrow afternoon. So don't even bother to write and wish me well. Just think good thoughts, and get your own regular check-ups. And tell your doctor if you ever have pain and pressure under your ribs, on your right side. And check back soon, in case they let me keep my gallstone and I post a picture of it on the site.

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7:53 PM #

Comments:

 I'm thinking good thoughts AND writing to wish you well. Make your boyfriend bring you ice cream! That rule doesn't just apply to tonsillectomies, does it?


# posted by Blogger Doppelganger : 12:36 AM  

 Hi Gwen,

Gees, why is it when there is something wrong with you, everybody you bump into, work with, or somehow come in contact with has the same gosh darn thing you have--but only much, much worse?

I vote for the lepard thong, But I don't think they'd let you wear panties for your surgery. It get's in the way of the perry tube, or cathitier tube that they always put in for surgery of evey kind.

I'm praying for a great surgen with warm hands, a great surgery, and very little scaring.

Don't push the recovery! This is one time in your life when it is premissable to be lazy, and lay about the house doing nothing. So relax, and enjoy the recovery process, as much as you can anyway.

Later Janice~


# posted by Blogger Janice : 1:29 AM  

 yikes! 7:30am that's in just a few hours from now! I will not only think good thoughts, but I will pray to our God in heaven for your total healing and amazingly fast recovery time. However, do milk this time off for all it is worth because you deserve some good R&R!

love and blessings,
Stacey


# posted by Blogger Psychotic Housewife : 4:37 AM  

 Thinking good thoughts hon. Take care!


# posted by Blogger Claire : 5:54 AM  

 You are so incredibly lucky to work with all those people who clearly gave up all their medical schooling to work with you instead. If only they were healthy.


# posted by Blogger Stephanie : 7:33 AM  

 Stephanie's comment made me snort.

I trust your surgery will go very well, and your recovery will be smooth.

(and I'd vote HK on the underwear, if I had a choice)


# posted by Blogger pinky pinkerson : 7:58 AM  

 Gwen, you're probably going into surgery right about now, so I'll be thinking good thoughts. I hope the recovery is swift, but that you milk it for a few days off.

Also, your co-workers really kind of suck.

Feel better soon!


# posted by Blogger kate : 8:27 AM  

 Well, you should be out of surgury by now, so I hope it went well and all kinds of good thoughts for your recovery. Don't push the recovery too fast, though. Giving yourself an extra day or two can make all the difference between feeling pretty good and feeling all better.


# posted by Blogger lumenatrix : 10:52 AM  

 Thinking good thoughts for you. I had mine taken out 13 years ago, and I am so glad I did. I was more agonizing pain than childbirth for me. I hope your kids make it easy for you to rest up too.


# posted by Blogger Keli : 12:35 PM  

 Hi Gwen,

You have probably been out of surgery for a long while now and are home resting.

I wish you a speedy recovery and know that you are going to be so happy with the results!

Lots of good wishes,

Karisa


# posted by Blogger Karisa : 2:06 PM  

 I had mine out 2 years ago. It was easy and fast recovery. Just make sure you get IV fluids after! I didn't (idiot staff)and I got dehydrated and had to back to the ER for IV fluids 3 days later!! If you keep feeling dizzy, that may be why.


# posted by Blogger Nancy : 4:18 PM  

 Take care! You're off the table by now, but I'm still thinking of you and wishing you well.


# posted by Blogger queen of the harpies : 8:27 AM  

 Gwen, I hope all went well. I had laproscopic surgery years ago and it was fine. Actually, OK, I forgot about the gas problem. They filled up my stomach with gas so the organs would like float around and be easy to move (I guess). The night of the surgery I had really bad gas pains in my shoulders. The only reason I'm even mentioning this negative stuff is b/c you won't get to read this until after the surgery and if you have weird pain in your shoulders, neck, chest, etc. you will know you're not dying. Have Tad go to the drugstore and get charcoal tablets, it will absorb the gas. Or maybe they don't even use gas like that anymore? It was probably just part of the conspiracy against me and no one else ever even got it.

Personally, I hope you wore the Hello Kitty thong b/c HK is the light of the world.


# posted by Blogger Tanya : 9:31 AM  

 HI Gwen-
I hope you're somewhere in recovery, sporting cute HK ... something and cradling a jar with your gallstone inside. Rest up, drink up (water!) and hope to hear from you soon!


# posted by Blogger Meepers : 2:52 PM  

 Hope all went well!
Best wishes.


# posted by Blogger Zeut : 3:57 PM  

 Thanks, you guys. Y'all are very lovably sweet.

I feel okay. Stopped taking the drugs last night because I'm only a little sore either way. Yes - gas pain all the way up into a shoulder. And, yes, they let me take not just the stone but the whole bladder home with me. It looked like a sad, dime-diameter prune and smelled like rotten meat. We took a photo and then threw it away. I'll post later, maybe with a Flash video and scary music...

I can't take a shower til Saturday. Just did a sponge bath and washed my hair, and now I'm totally worn out. So... love y'all and thanks for the good wishes. More later. Good night.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 5:21 PM  

 Oh, PS, I wore the leopard print because it was looser. The doctor didn't see them but the nurse had to help me put them back on. She didn't say anything.

I hallucinated that I was reading the same Star magazine 4 different times. Then I actually read it. My hallucinations of it were better.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 5:23 PM  

 I am a slow-ass who didn't get to wish you luck, so instead I'm going to say that I'm glad you're doing so well.

If you're reading Star magazine in a delusion, then you're at least reading it in the same state of mind as the people who were writing it.


# posted by Blogger Mike : 8:05 PM  

 I am also a slow-ass, and I am also glad to hear you're on the road to recovery.

The nurse may not have said anything, but she was probably thinking "Damn, that's a hot leopard print thong. This woman kicks ass."

After some recent surgery, and on some serious drugs, my mother lay in her hospital bed, staring at a get well card for hours -- she says that every time she blinked and looked at it again she could swear it said something different. I should have given her a Star magazine. That might have blown her mind, though.


# posted by Blogger jam : 7:32 AM  

 Gwen! I hope you are recovering nicely!!! Stay rested, and have fun playing games and being cuddled. Best wishes and cant wait to see the pictures.


# posted by Blogger pixielyn : 8:45 AM  

 Gwen, I've been thinking about you. I'm glad it went OK. You could make some cool jewelry with that stone, I bet. Take care o' yourself.


# posted by Blogger Marigoldie : 8:42 AM  

 Wow, I'm really late to the well wishes party. I'm glad to hear everything went well and I hope the recovery is moving along swiftly.

Take care!


# posted by Blogger lisal : 9:34 AM  

 Hey, also late to thw party.

Glad to hear you're OK!

Wow...For some reason I thought gallbaldders were bigger. If you haven't thrown it away yet, maybe you could bring it to show your coworkers and get their expert opinions.


# posted by Blogger plainamyjane : 11:26 AM  

 Thanks, y'all.

Mike, Jam, Marigoldie, PAJ: Ha, ha, ha, and ha.

Now I feel bad that I made fun of them, since it looks like they might both have hysterectomies, after all. I told them they should ask about two-for-one rates. I promise not to tell them that I share symptoms with them... even though I *do.*

Heh.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 11:28 AM  

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