Sneak preview of upcoming novel.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Finally: The Answers to the Eleven Questions that I, as an Author, Am Most Frequently Asked1. So, are you and your boyfriend going to get married?
Not at the moment, no. We don't have any plans to do so.
2. Why not?
Well... Because he's not ready to get married, and I've already been married and I don't feel the need to do it again.
3. Don't you want to try for a girl?
Not really. I'm happy with my three boys. They're plenty.
4. Why not? Come on. Don't you want to marry Tad and have a cute little Chinese baby girl with him? Wouldn't that be the cutest thing? Come on! It'd be so cute! How long have you two been together, anyway?
I can't afford to have a baby right now, and we're not getting married. We've been together two and a half years, and we're happy the way we are. Did you know that there are lots of Chinese baby girls up for adoption? Why don't you get your own?
5. So what's up with your writing?
Well, right now I'm revising my chick-lit novel for Warner, and I just sold my first children's book, and I'm about to start working on...
6. Oh, you sold a book? So I guess you'll be quitting your job now, huh?
No. I haven't made enough money to quit my job. Hardly any authors do, really. You only hear about the ones who sell movie rights and get rich, but usually...
7. So, are you gonna buy me a car when you get rich?
No. (Unless you're my kids, my boyfriend, or my dad.)
8. Hey, you're not writing about me, are you?
No. Or, if I am, you won't recognize yourself, because you aren't very introspective. All I'll do is change your name and haircolor, and you'll never realize that the most annoying person in the book is you.
9. Cool. Hey, I have a really awesome idea for a book you could write. Wanna hear it?
No. You should keep it and write it for yourself.
10. I do a little writing, myself. Will you look at my stuff and tell me what you think?
Sure, you can give me a short piece. But only once. I don't have time to go over multiple revisions with you (unless you're my friend in real life and you're buying me lunch). Also, please don't show me work in which you have exposed yourself as a psycho. Those ones keep me up at night. Also, please don't show me very good work and then, when I tell you it's very good, put it away in a drawer and give up on yourself. That always makes me sad. There are too many good artists who are afraid, and too many persistent untalented people who get what good artists should have. So stop beating yourself up, and put your work out there. I did it, and look what happened for me.
11. You do realize, don't you, that when you got that extra Costco card for Tad, you and he became common law husband and wife? And, if you get rich, he can file for divorce and take half your stuff? So you may as well go ahead and have another baby, right?
That's what you think. When Costco misspelled his name on his card, I let them. So I remain a free woman. And I have to go back to writing my revisions now.
Labels: my sex life, writing
5:25 PM #Comments:
what? #11 - that is totally ridiculous right? right? erm - i need to go make a phone call.hee! happy new year!
# posted by
pooja* : 8:17 PM
Hi Gwen,
Life is tough!
Especially when people have to butt in!
And I think three boys are enough! Especially when your raising them on one income.
Children are expensive!
Good luck with this new book deal, and the ones that follow. I hope you get more income from this one than the last. Hang in there!
I hadn't realized all the work that goes into a book, but your blog is learnin' me reel good!
Later Janice~
# posted by
Janice : 12:42 AM
Thanks, Janice.
Pooja: In Texas, you become common law spouses when you "represent yourself as a married couple." So, if you tell the IRS or your insurance carrier or, presumably, Costco that you're married, then Poof! You're married!
So they say. I don't know anyone who's ever filed for divorce on those grounds.
# posted by
Gwen : 8:30 AM
gwen- i ket a kick out of the way you write. your blogs are like your first novel, i love that style. i've posted before saying i liked your work, and here i am again- i think people need to be told how great they are over and over, especially strong women like you. happy new year, i'm not a freaky stalker i promise.
# posted by
Emalicious : 1:44 PM
who are these people who are obsessed with your reproductive habits? jeez!
# posted by
pinky pinkerson : 3:27 PM
Hee. Tell me about it. I could have just won the Nobel Prize or discovered a long-lost play by Shakespeare, and the first thing I'd hear from most people would be "That's great, but do you have a boyfriend?".
# posted by
tina : 4:29 PM
Emalicious: Thank you! Your check is in the mail...
Pinky: My cousins and random hairdressers are the main culprits. And my boyfriend's sister. And random people, yelling from bus windows and the like.
Tina: Ha. No, seriously - when are you getting married?
# posted by
Gwen : 5:26 PM
I can sympathize. Before I got married, I actually had the pizza delivery guy ask me, "so how come you guys aren't married?" And now I get the baby questions ALL THE TIME. Craziness! I would feel so rude asking a question like that.
I can't wait for the new book to come out.
# posted by
kate : 8:19 AM
Sometimes I want to tell people who ask when my husband and I are having kids that I am infertile due to some horrible incident. That'll shut them up.
But I can't even be that mean to people who are annoying the crap to me. I am a wuss.
# posted by
KT : 1:36 PM
Some people are just incredibly invested in the continuation of the human race, I guess. I like to think that they mean well, but they just can't imagine a happy life outside of conventional means. It's like, if Maureen Dowd wants to be married, shouldn't we all?!
If I were rich, I'd totally have two more kids and then get lipo. And then I'd start a commune on a hill in East Texas and marry twenty-six other men. Oh, wait - just kidding.
I just finished my revisions, y'all. I'm so goshdanged happy. Pretty soon I'm going to make a web page for this new book and put up an excerpt and everything. But first I have to go out with my peeps and have a beer...
# posted by
Gwen : 7:17 PM
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