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I'll be reading Growing Up with Tamales for story time at Blue Willow Bookshop, in Houston, on Thursday morning, May 15. Tell everyone you know with kids in the Houston area. How do you find and support local indie book stores like Blue Willow? By going to Booksense.

On Saturday, May 17, I'll be in Dallas, reading and signing at the J. Erik Jonsson Central Library, for the 13th Dallas Children’s Book Fair & Literary Festival.

On June 22, here in Houston, I'm going to do a poetry workshop. It's free and open to the public, y'all, and they're having one every Sunday in June, taught by local poets I love and respect. So come on down.

Friday, December 09, 2005
The Men and the Women That I Hate Most

The longer I live, the more I understand that all problems between men and women are caused by two distinct types of jerks. These two types of jerks are generally divided among the two sexes. They replicate by breeding and by shaming their weak-minded peers to be like them. They talk louder than anyone else and purport to be representative of their sexes. And here they go:

The Entitled Man

There are men who believe that their opinions, desires, and need are more important than anyone else's - particularly more important than any woman's. These are the men who tell you - on the street, in elevators, and in newspaper columns - who they would like to have sex with and who doesn't meet their standards for attractiveness. These are the men who always believe that they are right. These are the men who are mentally incapable of putting themselves in anyone else's shoes. They hurt people's feelings, and when those people complain, these men tell them to "toughen up" or "get over it." However, when someone hurts these men's feelings, they squeal like pigs and launch ad hominem attacks (or lawsuits), and accuse the feeling-hurters of committing moral sins (or breaking the law, or being "psycho bitches"). They see women as a different species.

Why are they like this? Because that's how their parents raised them to be. They spent their youths watching their mothers completely give themselves over to men.

There are two likely paths for this kind of man. One, he can find a woman as pitiful as his mother was, and happily abuse her until she leaves him, then find another, rinse and repeat, for the rest of his life. Or, two, he can go out into the real world and realize that not everyone is going to treat him the way his mother did - particularly not the 19-year-old supermodel he was hoping to get it on with. At that point, he will become embittered as hell and spend the rest of his life on Internet forums, blaming feminism for everything that's gone wrong with his life.

The Willingly Objectified Woman

We've all heard women referred to as catty, bitchy, gold-digging, and manipulative. What separates a worthless bitch from a bitch I'd have lunch with, in my mind, is the shaming.

Let's say that, for whatever reason, a woman has decided that the way to get ahead in life is to marry some guy and make him pay her way. Why does she decide this? Maybe because her parents taught her that girls are only valuable when they're attractive to men. Maybe she'd rather spend time beautifying herself and playing mind games than working at a steady job. I don't know, and I don't care, because the way others choose to live is no business of mine. Until, that is, these women decide that it's not enough to objectify themselves, unless everybody else is doing it, too. Otherwise, where's the fun? Where's the self-worth-boosting competition? Where's the company that misery loves?

I'm talking about the women who, from the very beginning, in elementary school, pick their friends not for personalities, but merely to have women to rank themselves against. Women who race their friends to get married. Women whose phone conversations consist of constant comparisons: Whose boyfriend makes more money? Whose ass looks fatter? Whose face is uglier? Whose shoes cost more? Or else it's more insidious. If you're a woman and you're not already playing their game, they'll tell you, "I think you look great, but don't you worry about other people thinking you're too butch? I know you love him, but don't you wonder why he hasn't popped the question yet? I know you think you're happy, but isn't there some seed of doubt I can cast to draw out the fact that you're just as miserable as me?"

These are the women who, when they grow old, have nothing to show for themselves anymore. No skills, no well honed personalities. That's when they turn absolutely savage, hating all women younger and prettier than them. Blaming men for being attracted to the qualities they themselves used to obsess over.

Conclusion

I wish these people would just stop. I wish they could find a way to be happy. But why would they? There are too many of them, mirroring and reinforcing the poisonous attitudes. These people marry each other and breed, and raise their children to be the same kinds of little jerks, so we can't even take solace in the thought that they might all die off.

So what do you do? Nothing. There's nothing you can do. Just keep hanging out with people who aren't like them. Keep doing what you do, and trying to be happy. That's all you can ever do.

THE END

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1:21 PM #

Comments:

 Aaaand....you're right. I wish you weren't, but you are. I know people who recognize these types, then torture themselves by obsessing over WHY there are people like that, and WHY can't they change, and don't they REALIZE how awful they are? but the upshot is that they exist, they won't change, and no, they don't care. So do as Gwen says (WWGD?) - keep doing what you're doing and don't waste the moral or mental energy on those types.


# posted by Blogger White Trasherati : 1:34 PM  

 You forgot the third likely path for The Entitled Man: He could get himself elected to public office (even the presidency!) somehow, and then inflict his ideology on a much grander scale. Asshats!


# posted by Blogger FuzzyVerde : 2:09 PM  

 Yeah. The attitude of entitlement
--in both men and women--enrages me like nothing else.


# posted by Blogger tina : 2:13 PM  

 Right On Gwenie

I work with the male and female entitled types all damn day long at the law firm where I work . I am a college educated, well read woman who will put her degree up against theirs any damn'd day of the week, but I am just the receptionist... Smug, sanctimonius, shallow meat sacks by large. I do however by the virtue of having been here for 24 years ( Gawds above) have the unique ability of putting the fear of God into the younger ones in hopes of breaking their breeding cycle. GRRRRRR....Most of the time I really like my job and the folks I work with..but there are days. The asshats need to remember I know where the bodies are buried

Mwahahahah


# posted by Blogger Boschka : 3:09 PM  

 Hi Gwen,

If it makes you feel any better we do live in a more inlightened socity, then say the 1940's or 1950's or earlier.

Or how about Iran or Iraq? Or any of the Arab states where you are suppose to wear a long robe, and cover your hair, cover your face, and not go out in public unless you were escorted by a male family member.

Janice~


# posted by Blogger Janice : 9:16 PM  

 Sounds like a pretty accurate description of Long Island to me. You hit the nail on the head every time, Gwen.


# posted by Blogger alx. : 11:56 AM  

 White Trasherati: I love your handle, first of all. Second, I used to be one of those people who obsessed over why (up until about a month ago) so I feel your people's pain. But, yeah, from now on, SCREW THE IDIOTS AND THEIR RATIONALE.

Fuzzyverde: Oh, christ, you are right. It's funny - it's obviously true of Bush, but lately I've been reading the news and thinking of our newest crop of Bush-appointed "diplomats" and how well they particularly fit the profile, as well.

Tina: I like seeing your art nuevo picture in the comments. It's soothing. Or is it art deco? Or did I just spell nuevo wrong?

Boschka: Oh, jesus, word. Classist entitlement - a whole other universe of pet peeves. And, is it just me, or does it kind of sting when the women do it to other women? I hate it when people think they're better than me just because their parents could afford more college than mine could.

Janice: I am glad that I wasn't born somewhere *worse*, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to settle for crappy treatment just because I'm a woman. You know? That would be like never working towards a promotion at your office job, because you're grateful that you don't dig ditches for a living. But I get your sentiment.

alx.: Aw. Poor Long Island.


# posted by Blogger Gwen : 11:09 AM  

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