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Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Advice for WritersThis advice is particularly for people interested in publishing fiction, or who have published one book and are trying to move forward from there. These are things that I've learned from experience.
1. You can't be a successful writer if you don't actually write.
Maybe there are still some people left who haven't heard you talk about your plans to be a great writer, and maybe there are even people who care. But talking and fantasizing about writing won't get you published. (Usually.) You have to sit down and write your stuff and then send it to people and wait to hear what they've decided about it. Not glamorous, but still necessary. (Unless you self-publish. But if you go that route, make sure your stuff is good, or else the people who get suckered into buying it will be sure to write a review on Amazon that explains exactly what kind of unprofessional, worthless tripe you foisted on the world.)
After you publish your first book, you can spend an indefinite amount of time riding the coattails of your own success. However, if one of your fantasies is to die with more than one good book to your name, you're going to have to quit gallivanting around with free drinks in your hand, and sit yourself down, and write again.
2. Don't hate on yourself.
Try not to hate on yourself while you're writing. It's okay to be critical of your own work - if you unfailingly, unequivocally accepted it as-is, it would most likely suck. But don't get personal about it, calling yourself names like loser, hack, failure, fraud, or "worthless piece of crap just like my mom said I'd be." That kind of thought pattern isn't conducive to quality work. Save it for late at night, right before you fall asleep.
3. Don't waste time comparing yourself to other writers.
Don't sulk over the fact that Jane Doe's book sold for $100K and yours only sold for thirty-seven dollars. Don't feel like, just because Joan Blow's book was made into a movie, yours doesn't matter unless it gets made into a movie, too. Don't read interviews in which Juanita Dodez Blowdriguez brags that she wrote her bestseller in three days, and then beat yourself up because you've been revising the same opening paragraph for the last eight weeks.
You just do what you have to do. Do your work. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Keep your eyes on your own personal prize.
That didn't help? Okay, well I'll tell you a secret, then. Jane Doe, Joan Blow, and Juanita Dodez Blowdriguez are fucking miserable. They're all just as miserable as you are. That's right. They go to bed at night feeling like losers because they don't have what J.K. Rowling and Stephen King have. J.K. Rowling and Stephen King go to bed at night feeling crappy because, no matter what they did, they know they could have and should have done it better.
And if any of those people email me to say otherwise, we'll know that I've hit upon their innermost insecurities by telling the stark, unfettered truth.
4. Listen to music while you write.
It really sets the mood. You may like yours mellow, upbeat, or full of sinister robotic bass like the latest from VNV Nation. Either way, listen to something you like that inspires you to get your groove on. Your writing groove, that is.
5. Carve out some Alone Time.
It's best to write without distractions. Sometimes you may be a single mom of three, making it trickier to work writing into your schedule. No problem - just do it late at night, when your children are asleep. Or early in the morning, when they're still asleep and you wished you were, too, but you couldn't be, because otherwise you'd never finish your effing book. Or during the work day, when you've lied to your boss, telling him you have the flu so that you could stay home alone and work on your book. Or, during the work day, when you actually are home with the flu.
Sometimes you might find it necessary to work while your children are home and awake. If so, set boundaries and prepare them. Gather your children, your boyfriends, your spouses, and your pets, and gently say, "Mommy loves you very much. I want you to understand that. No matter what Mommy says to you when you interrupt her work, remember that she still loves you."
6. Keep healthy snacks on hand to refuel and stay sharp.
Not potato chips, and not Little Debbie Cakes. The starch makes you sleepy. Not alcohol, heroin, or crack, which inhibit your ability to produce cogent metaphors. Most importantly, don't use protein powders that contain calcium. Those can cause kidney stones. Try fresh fruits, veggies, and low-fat deli meats, instead.
7. Wear comfortable clothing while you write.
That one's self-explanatory. In a similar vein...
8. Create a ritual.
It's all about setting the mood. Once you get into the habit, your writing time will become incredibly efficient. Take it from me.
I'm currently working on another book, and I've developed a very productive routine. First, I announce to my children that it's time for me to write. They run to open Chef Boy-ar-dee cans and turn on the PS2 while I lock and barricade my bedroom door. Then, I load my Windows Media Player with a pre-arranged MP3 list entitled "finish freaking book."
Then, I take off my work clothes and slip into my Writing Outfit. After much trial and error, I've decided on a machine-washable white vinyl jumpsuit with pink and orange stars, kitten ears, and a well designed crotch opening. I wait until the music swells to the appropriate level, then begin to spin. Colored light suffuses the air and glitter swirls around my head. As I revolve, my day-job clothes melt away to reveal my buttocks for a brief instant before being replaced by the jumpsuit, white platform boots, a tiara, and the golden sceptre that holds my Ruby of Writing and Hematites of Humor. I point the sceptre to the sky and cry out my "centering mantra": By the foremothers of Athena... I... HAVE... THE POWER!
Then I sit my butt on my chair and get back to work. 8:55 AM #
Comments:
Chef boy-a-dee is healthy? Your blog today made me giggle.# posted by
Maggirat : 11:14 AM
Thanks for the advice, even though I'm more along the lines of so-shy-I-don't-let-anyone-know-I'm-writing instead of telling everyone I know about it.
Also, where can I get a dissolving writing outfit?
# posted by
lost angel : 11:41 AM
Oh, I soooo want your MP3 playlist! And I shall call it "finish your freaking homework!"
# posted by
Yana/Jenn : 12:01 PM
This is all fantastic advice for anyone working at a career in any of the arts, actually. Thanks!
# posted by
Sarcasma : 12:12 PM
I get very impatient while I'm writing. How long did it take you to write your first book?
# posted by
Katie : 1:36 PM
Thanks, y'all.
Katie, I feel you. I get impatient, too.
My first book isn't a good gauge because it was a short-story collection and includes stuff I wrote over the span of four years. I can tell you that it took about a year to compile it, from the day I decided to do it until the day I thought it was revised/organized/themed well enough to submit to a publisher. And then, after that, of course, I still spent a LOT of hours revising - maybe two months.
I'm going to tell you what I have to tell myself every single day: slow your freaking roll.
Anything you set out to write is going to take longer than you want it to, first of all. Second, you're always going to spend at least a few days/weeks/months revising, on top of that. Otherwise, you're wasting your own time by submitting something that isn't ready and having to wait around a few months to find out from someone else that, yeah, you should have taken some more time with your work.
Third, and hardest to convince yourself of - that doesn't mean you should give up, or only look to do projects that you can finish quickly. To paraphrase the Artist's Way: How old will be when you finish writing that book, Katie? As old as you'd be if you never wrote it.
I wrote a "quick" 300-pg book in six weeks, then wasted several months of my life waiting for congratulations and accolades before realizing that it needs a LOT more work - six more weeks, at the very least. And I've started another book in the meantime. You know why I do that? Because I'm not patient enough to keep working on the novel I *really* want to do, which I've already been working on for two and a half years, and which won't be ready for at least another whole year plus revision time.
So - yeah, I feel you with the impatience thing. Let's make a pact to slow our rolls together, shall we?
# posted by
Gwen : 1:53 PM
I've printed this out to go with my Anne Lamott and biography of Douglas Adams ("Farnham: the feeling you get when it's four o'clock and you haven't done anything productive.")
I really needed this today, so thanks.
# posted by
eliza : 5:56 PM
Excellent article and motivation for those of us trying to slog through the mud to get those pages down. I also appreciated the "slowing down our rolls" addition at the end. Glad I stumbled onto this. And nice to (sort of) meet you, Gwen.
P.S. Amazon reviews of your novel seem to be almost exclusively positive. That's pretty good, huh? :)
# posted by
Nathan Dean : 1:14 AM
It *is* good, but it doesn't mean a ton. The first thing you always have to do when your book is on Amazon is get all your friends to write up good reviews of it. (See "worthless tripe" link in entry above.)
The book has gotten really good reviews in general, though, and for that I am glad.
And I'm glad y'all found the advice useful, too.
# posted by
Gwen : 8:44 AM
Man, I was soooo hoping the book I tell everyone I'm writing was going to write itself *sigh*
Vicki
# posted by
Vicki : 7:08 PM
Man, I was soooo hoping the book I tell everyone I'm writing was going to write itself *sigh*
Vicki
# posted by
Vicki : 7:08 PM
i loved your book. i sent you some fan mail, but i think i was too eager and too kooky sounding in it.
anyway, thanks for this post. i'm considering writing up my memoirs from my blogs over the past four years since starting my own midwifery practice. i get stuck in this rut of feeling that i'm not a writer, even though i write all the time.
music is good.
# posted by
Pamela : 11:27 AM
Pamela, it's more likely that I was too lazy or procrastinating to reply promptly. Either that, or Hotmail filed it as spam.
# posted by
Gwen : 1:35 PM
Gwen, your book came in the mail yesterday along with my IRS refund. It's like Christmas morning.
This advice post is oh, so helpful. I especially like "don't hate on yourself." That's my biggest obstacle, but I know all the best artists just plow right through the doubt and self-loathing. When I look back, I feel much worse about not writing than writing stuff I don't think is strong.
If you (or any others reading this) have a chance, would you consider checking my blog to weigh in on a housing decision? marigoldie.blogspot.com. Thanks.
# posted by
Marigoldie : 2:22 PM
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