Gwen's blog

Current Events

May 3, Houston: The big one -- the Inprint reading -- occurs at the Alley Theatre on Monday, May 3. Do not miss it or you'll be sorry. I'm not kidding -- I'm going to say the craziest, most intellectual yet hilarious stuff I can think of, and I'll be sharing the stage with the ultra sexy Oscar Casares, too.

June 24, Houston: I'm one of the peeps scheduled to read at Poison Pen, at Houston's famous Poison Girl bar. Besides me, everyone there will be ultra, *super* sexy. Come see me and drink!

June 26, Washington, DC: I'll be reading at the American Library Association conference. Come on down.

My other blog: Go read my the Houston Chronicle parenting blog (or my ChronMomBlog, as I like to call it) and make sure my kids won't resent me more than other kids resent their own parents.

Buy my new novel, Lone Star Legend. Already did? Well, buy a few more for your friends, then. :)

Tuesday, June 08, 2004


The other day I was working on a story about ants. Every time I stopped working and went to the bathroom, there'd be a giant ant on the bathmat. Just standing there, waiting.

I don't know if the ants were trying to tell me that the story was fine the way it was, or that I should go ahead and take it in the direction I was envisioning. Or maybe they were just there to be supportive and inspiring.

But, either way, I had to kill them all. I apologized profusely to each one before smashing it under the bath mat as hard and quickly as I could.

Poor ants. I love them, but I can't have them in my apartment. I wish there was a way to give them fair warning. (I'm just too lazy to carry them all outside.)


Look at this sad, sad story about Tonya Harding.

Meta Time

Here's something I've been wanting to say about the Comments feature on this blog:

Generally, when you see that a comment has been deleted by me, that comment was an accidental double-post. Sometimes you might see comments deleted by their own authors. I don't know what the deal is with those. (Unless the author obviously spelled his own pseudonym wrong.) So far, I've never deleted a comment for obnoxiousness. Rest assured that if/when I do, I'll post a comment explaining that fact.

Don't worry. I love y'all and would never let you miss out on petty drama.

12:12 PM #


That Tonya Harding story I didn't know people aspired to wearing a pretty dress specifically to go to Applebees. Not even just stopping at Applebee's on the way to something that requires a nice dress, but actually wearing the dress BECAUSE of Applebees. The same place that men in tattered clothes, covered in mud go after playing softball. It's a shame that everyone she is related to and has ever known in life has turned out to suck. It obviously has nothing to do with her.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:09 PM  

It is so funny (sad and weird funny) that was exactly the same thing that struck me as so sad, I mean a former Olympic level athlete now thinking that a pretty dress and Applebee's is her dream future.

# posted by Blogger Grumblecat : 1:22 PM  

Did the writer *need* to mention the part where she was puking out of both ends? Ewww.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:40 PM  

I loved how you said the ants were maybe trying to be supportive or inspiring but you had to kill each one. Thanks for making me laugh as usual Gwen!

# posted by Blogger Katie : 2:13 PM  

Your lucky to get ants one at a time. We lived several places where we were invaded by ants, my ex used to have me put on Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries and she would swoop down on them like Col. Kilgore in Apocalypse Now,wiping down ant trails with a bucket of Spic and Span and cursing their very existence.

# posted by Blogger Grumblecat : 4:48 PM  

eep bow and arrow, eep.

# posted by Blogger jen : 4:52 PM  

The utilitarian nature of ants makes me think they are telling you to keep doing what you are doing. I can't picture an ant recommending there's a disadvantage to choosing between 2 drafts.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:27 PM  

Thanks, y'all.

I wanted to say that I kind of hoped she was making that shit up about Appleby's, too. Or, at least, trying to be funny. But I accidentally sent that comment to Grumblecat only instead of to everybody. Poor Tonya. I agree with the first poster - her whole family and life was just messed up from the start.

Previous Poster, your initials are ML, aren't they? I recognize the way you write.

# posted by Blogger Gwen : 8:42 PM  

As for the Applebee's thing.....

Tonya, self admittedly, is trailer trash.

Therefore Applebee's is a very upscale dining establishment and a destination not just a stop along the way. For her, but not for everyone.

I'm not dissin' trailer trash, I lived in a trailer, in Arkansas, for a dozen years so I am trailer trash too.

As I remember, not a single person/family that I knew at that time had a hubcap for an ashtray in the house. One guy did have one for an ashtray in his garage but that was just so he didn't have to empty it as often.

BTW Gwen, late one night several years ago for some odd reason I did a search for "trailer trash" and near the top of the list was a bustling forum. Sad that the trolls had to come and play there.

I sat up most of the night reading everything that I could until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

Through that forum I learned of your website.

Those funny and thought provoking stories written by that smiling on the outside and crying on the inside trailer trash housewife really tugged at my soul.

Thank you for allowing me to see the world through your eyes, both the trivial and the traumatic.

Mike in Ohio

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:39 PM  

Previous Poster, your initials are ML, aren't they? I recognize the way you write.Yeah, you've got so many anonymous posters, but I couldn't resist interpreting the synchronicity posts.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7:06 AM  

Poor, poor Tanya Harding. Applebee's? Surely the reporter made that part up.

# posted by Blogger fullonweave : 8:49 PM  

Whenever I see those pesky fire ants crawling on my kitchen counter top, I immediately grab a lighter and torch them for being so darn annoying. They quickly die cause they can't stand the heat, so I had to get their asses out of the...well, ya know.

- Tad

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:57 PM  

squared jeered.


# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:41 PM  

Thanks, Mike from O. Thanks, Mike from N.

Tad: Is that why your countertops are ashy?

Jen and Kydd: I was going to delete your posts, but then I saw that you're just trying to promote yourselves. Clever. Spam-bot-like and clever, bitches.

# posted by Blogger Gwen : 2:05 PM  

Gwen I love your site. You are an inspiration to us all! You go grrrl. Poor Tanya Harding.. LOL

You know I feel for you though Gwen, one great thing about blogging is that your boyfriends, and ex boyfriends dont read them, and you can rant all you want about them. Is the Tad posting your ex? If so, that sucks to think you have to censor what you rant about, knowing he will read it and post. Oh well. You still Kick Ass.

# posted by Blogger Vadergrrrl : 11:00 PM  

Vader: thanks for having my back.

Tad reads the site, my family reads the site, my coworkers read the site, my arch nemeses read the site, my former boyfriends read the site, my future boyfriends read the site, my ex-therapist reads the site, and I'm pretty sure my ex-husband reads the site, too. Don't worry about Tad. I don't worry about anybody. Tad's still my friend, despite the fact that I was mad at him when we broke up.

When you have a web site, you keep in mind that *everybody* can read it. You censor yourself accordingly, just like you do at work, with your family, in public, etc. Don't worry about me. If I want to rant about Tad, I'll call him on the phone and rant to him. If I don't want him to know about my ranting, I'll stay off the phone and rant to my cat. It's all good. Life is all right.

# posted by Blogger Gwen : 12:45 AM  

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