May 3, Houston: The big one -- the Inprint reading -- occurs at the Alley Theatre on Monday, May 3. Do not miss it or you'll be sorry. I'm not kidding -- I'm going to say the craziest, most intellectual yet hilarious stuff I can think of, and I'll be sharing the stage with the ultra sexy Oscar Casares, too.

June 24, Houston: I'm one of the peeps scheduled to read at Poison Pen, at Houston's famous Poison Girl bar. Besides me, everyone there will be ultra, *super* sexy. Come see me and drink!

June 26, Washington, DC: I'll be reading at the American Library Association conference. Come on down.

My other blog: Go read my the Houston Chronicle parenting blog (or my ChronMomBlog, as I like to call it) and make sure my kids won't resent me more than other kids resent their own parents.

Buy my new novel, Lone Star Legend. Already did? Well, buy a few more for your friends, then. :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

he told me

The other day I was in the parking lot of Cottage Thrift Store on Westheimer with a friend. A homeless man was going through a nearby dumpster. Then he walked up with what looked like a jar of baked beans. I looked at him to make sure he wasn't about to throw beans on my skirt. Instead, he looked right back at me and muttered, "Turn your fat [non sequitorishly insensible words] you hell batch." Then he threw the beans on the ground as he stomped down the block.

I think he meant "hell bitch" but he had a strong accent.

I kept calling myself Hell Bitch for the rest of the day.

linkelodeon

• Hello Kitty has no mouth.
• best Flash animations in the world
• an ASCII snail
• the sugar-free gum I chew
• "Make Mr. Roarke your personal servant" -- the hell? Someone figure out this weird game in which you can also seduce Mr. Roarke.
• speaking of -- "Fantasy Island was an ingeniously created series that depicts the nature of God and man."
• "Concealed Weapon Fanny Packs"

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