May 3, Houston: The big one -- the Inprint reading -- occurs at the Alley Theatre on Monday, May 3. Do not miss it or you'll be sorry. I'm not kidding -- I'm going to say the craziest, most intellectual yet hilarious stuff I can think of, and I'll be sharing the stage with the ultra sexy Oscar Casares, too.
June 24, Houston: I'm one of the peeps scheduled to read at Poison Pen, at Houston's famous Poison Girl bar. Besides me, everyone there will be ultra, *super* sexy. Come see me and drink!
June 26, Washington, DC: I'll be reading at the American Library Association conference. Come on down.
My other blog: Go read my the Houston Chronicle parenting blog (or my ChronMomBlog, as I like to call it) and make sure my kids won't resent me more than other kids resent their own parents.
Buy my new novel, Lone Star Legend. Already did? Well, buy a few more for your friends, then. :)
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
My teddy bear and I share a very special love.
Hey. What are you doing. Did you have a good day? Hmm?
Yeah, mine was okay. You know. Work. The whole working thing. I missed you.
Mm hmm. Scoot over a little, honey. What's that? Yeah, I know. I know you were probably bored today without me.
What do you mean? I was working. Like every freaking day. What are you trying to say?
Look... we talked about this. I told you -- they're my kids. I already told you...
What? That? What?? I have to check my email, don't I? I have to update my blog. Don't you want me to be a writer? Don't you want me to have a life?
Oh, yeah... sure...
Oh, yeah... right...
You know... sure, like... yeah, whatever. Like I'm out having a good time. Like I'm out painting the freaking town red or something... You know what? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you bitching at me about the same old stuff. What do you want me to do? Just lie in bed all day, like you? Yeah, I bet you'd like that -- if I just gave up my job, dissed my family, threw away everything I've ever worked for, and lied around all day with you. Oh, sure. Yeah, I'd love it if somebody did that for me, too.
Oh, sure. Yeah, right. Like what? What do you do? What the hell have you done for me lately, huh? All you do is sit around on your ass, waiting for me to get in bed. What -- you think I don't get bored and lonely, too? You think I don't need to feel appreciated? What keeps YOU from calling ME? What keeps you from emailing? When's the last time you even told me I looked nice?
Oh, leave me alone. I don't want to hear it anymore. I'm sick of this. Why the hell am I putting myself through all this crap? I don't need this kind of shit.
Leave me alone. I'm going to update my blog.
American Idol thoughts
Although Vanessa Olivarez does make way, way too many goofy faces, I think Charles Grigsby should have been the one to get thrown off. Also, did y'all see Julia Demato's phony sad face? You know she was so glad Vanessa lost instead of her. Also, is it just me or is Clay in lust with Kimberly and hoping that, if he wins, she'll give up her ruthless dreams of stardom to be his proud, pious, special-ed-volunteering girlfriend? Also, is it just me or did the fat chicks get the least votes, while everyone loves the fat bad boy? Just saying.
idle hands not filled with carbs
I felt lonely and bored and I figured it was that time of the month. (No, not that time. The other time. The time when my body says, "But, Gwen, why CAN'T we have another baby? C'mon! C'mon! I have an egg right here! Oh, I know why we can't have a baby. Because you can't even manage to have any sex. I forgot about that. You suck! I hate you!" And then I say, "Shut up. Play with the babies you already have.")
In the past, stuffing myself with cookies or maraschino cherries or cinnamon raisin bread has been enough to keep me from running outside and screaming. But this evening, instead, I flooded my inner turmoil with a healthy, low-carb protein shake. Ha, ha, ha! I defeated temptation. Never mind that I'll be burping up chocolate-flavored succralose all night. I am losing weight, goddammit.
Lord of the Rings o rama
Me and the kids have been reading The Fellowship of the Ring at bedtimes. They play The Two Towers on their Playstation 2 on the weekends. We spend our car trips talking about what we think Return of the King might have in store. But it's not an obsession yet. Oh, no. I know obsession, and we're not there just yet.
Oh, okay. Jeez.
Hey... hey, baby. Listen... I'm sorry.
No... c'mon. I'm sorry. Really. Listen -- I know. I'm sorry. I know you don't have any hands and you can't walk and you would do more for me if you could. I know you love me and you just can't show it like I want you to sometimes. I just... I just forget, I guess. I don't know. I'm just tired. I'm under a lot of stress. I guess sometimes I forget to show my appreciation, too. C'mon. Give me a smile. C'mon, baby. Don't be mad anymore.
There you go. That's it, baby. See... we love each other. I know you'd send big bouquets of carnations or ginger lilies to my work if you could. It's just that it's so hard... Life is so hard on us, isn't it? I love you, baby. Even when I seem like I hate your freaking guts. Even when I keep asking you if you've been possessed by the devil. You know I love you. Now let's go to sleep.
Labels: health, pop culture
9:03 PM #Comments:
Post a Comment
